A day late and a dollar short (what exactly does that even mean?), I’m writing this.
It’s funny I ran across this prompt, because just this morning, as I was still peeling my eyelids open (my typo originally said PEEING! Imagine peeing your eyelids open…..), a memory of me torturing my family made me laugh.
You see, I’m a sadistic little shit. I take delight in freaking people out, and/or screwing with them.
A few years ago, before my father passed away, I was sitting at his kitchen table, along with my two brothers, my father, and my daughter. My husband was in the other room watching Star Trek or something.
Everyone was so consumed in conversation, an evil little gremlin snuck into my ear and whispered “Do it“. My face morphed into a smiling Grinch, and I whipped out my cell phone, stealthily hiding it under the table as I continued pretending to listen what everyone was talking about.
My brother had his laptop on the table, and we were listening to funny YouTube videos. But naughty me, I turned on my YouTube app, and pulled up this.
DO NOT LISTEN WITH EARPHONES!!! You’ll lose your mind.
Keep in mind, I have close to 50% hearing loss, and I don’t hear anything until almost the end. So this doesn’t really bother me. Especially since I always have ringing and buzzing in my ears (tinnitus, thank you very freaking much!).
But within seconds, my daughter was the first one to literally SPOOK. Of course she did! She was sitting directly to my left, completely oblivious as to what I was doing. Meanwhile, my father, who was on my right, proceeded to jam his little finger in his ear, wiggling it incessantly.
My brothers? Well, the brother to the left of my daughter cocked his head sideways, looking suspiciously at his laptop, trying desperately to shutdown. He thought it was about to explode or something. And my brother across the table from me, killed me with his reaction. I don’t think there are words to describe it, other than to say his eyeballs bulged, he gasped, and slapped his hands over his ears, saying “WHAT THE F*CK?!?!” Meanwhile, my husband in the other room shouted “TURN THAT OFF!”.
I still laugh maniacally whenever I think about it.
When we were eating lunch a little bit later, my oldest brother got his revenge while I was drinking coffee, saying “Now that my ears have reset, I can continue normal conversation without having an aneurysm”.
Even though it cost me my phone for the day, everyone’s reactions were absolutely PRICELESS.
I’m so mean.
A/N: I may or may not have written about this a long time ago, on an old blog which does not exist anymore. I couldn’t resist revisiting this memory.