You Can’t Have It Both Ways

Or can you?  Is it fair to have it both ways?  I’m opening a can of worms, but it’s possibly necessary.

This isn’t a lecture.  Just some thoughts that riddle my brain in the middle of the night.

What exactly is cheating?  Is it only a physical thing?  Is it emotional?  Both?  What if a perceived friendship isn’t exactly platonic?  The emotions are there, but nothing is being acted upon.  Time is spent texting, going to lunch, dinner, being together in social situations whenever possible, and so on.  Is that an emotional affair?

During an interesting homily at church, our priest spoke about marriage and relationships.  He said that physical cheating is only part of the problem, and that quite often the worst kind of cheating is emotional.  But he had hope that there can still be healthy platonic relationships.

“One must not have any extra intent or hope.  Only then is it not cheating.”

Isn’t it a sad and lonely thing to be in a relationship that can never happen, or even work, even if divorce were in the picture?  How long would it last?  And what about the people who are hurt by it?  If commitment was never intended to last, then why commit in the first place?  Just remain single, and go through life in many brief relationships.

Whether or not you are in a physical relationship outside of your established relationship, if you feel guilty, then is it possible you are micro cheating?

But then articles like this show up in the internet feed, and it gets the brain working against itself.  Have you ever micro-cheated?  Is there a problem with your current relationship where you’ve felt the need to look elsewhere, even if it is only friendship in your mind?

Food for thought…

PS: Fantasies are perfectly healthy.  IMO, those aren’t considered micro-cheating – as long as they’re not acted upon.  Unless both partners are so secure about their relationship that they make an extracurricular journey together.

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