Is It Necessary?

To research gross things?

Why do we need to know that natural flavoring substitutes come from a gland next a beaver’s anus?  Is beaver anus an oxymoron?  I will never again feel guilty for consuming regular sugar.  And now I must dump everything that contains flavor substitutes.

You think beaver anus flavor is gross?  Try coffee from the poop of an Asian civet.  I’ll spare your eyes.  And now I must beat the crap out of my nephew for even sharing that nasty Facebook post.

And finally, before you fly the friendly skies, you may want to consider ‘concentrating’ long before you board.  There are reports of people’s rectums being vacuum flushed right out of their bodies when they flush.

Who the HELL flushes when they’re still sitting?!?!?!

What Does It All Mean?

Recurrent dreams are common.  But what do they mean?  Have I asked this before?

Sleep was absolutely awful.  Being awake from 3:30 to 8:00 is getting old.  On the other hand, it’s the morning dreams I remember most.  Lately, those dreams are about schools and hospitals.  I’ve been too lazy to document most of them in recent days, but today’s recall is still fresh in my brain.

The first bit was about going back to school.  A financial advisor, who was also the dean of admissions at the college I was visiting, was reviewing my past work history, and suggested I get a 4 year degree of some sort.  When we started discussing classes, and I told her which ones I’d like to take, she said I needed to do the prerequisite classes first.

“But, but, I have an associates in mathematics and science.  And… and I even took statistics as an elective!”  I hate crying in my dreams.  And boy did I cry when she magically made my old transcript appear – and my husband!  When the hell did he arrive?!?!   Kevin looked so disappointed in me when he discovered that I failed calculus based physics, and discreet math (3 fucking times).

A blubbering explanation about how I wasn’t born with logic didn’t matter.  I wasn’t allowed into the program of my choice.  But then I started to feel sick, and something clicked.  “All my former co-workers and family insist I should’ve gone to school to be a doctor.  But I hate school!  I can’t DO 10 years of fucking school.  I’ll LOSE MY GODDAMNED MIND!!!


But then something else clicked in my dream, and I remembered a few friends who work from home.  And then I asked my advisor if I qualify for a certificate program.  “Sure.  But you need to start all over again.  Your diploma doesn’t transfer.”

“Okay, okay.  It’s only 900 hours of classroom time for 9 months anyways.  I guess I’ll live.  But why do I feel sick?”

And then Kevin was rushing me to the hospital (in my dream), because I had a sudden sharp pain in my side.  I really need to stop eating popcorn.

After I was discharged with enema instructions, I was wheeled down to the hospital lobby, where I waited while Kevin brought our brand new 4×4 around.  I wasn’t allowed to walk for some reason.

Then I discovered that my shirt and shoes were missing.  I was literally sitting in the hospital lobby wearing nothing but hospital scrubs, my socks, and a bra.

And when Kevin found out, he took off in the truck to go get me some clothes from home.  Then I was crying again because I thought he left me at the hospital.

Enough crying.  Time to wake up.  I love when I can subconsciously wake myself up.  I rarely need to do it, but somehow I have that ability.

Finally, I know why I have these dreams.  How does one let go of the past?  Is there a book I can read?  My new health insurance sucks, and doesn’t cover counseling.  If anything should be free, or at least discounted, is mental health care.  …… and I won’t continue with reasons why, because this is a dream entry.


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Are You A Bull?

In a China shop?

There are some people in this world who no matter what, even if they’re in a completely empty room, with bare walls and a floor with no rug, they still manage to break or ruin something in that room.  Be it breaking their toe when they pass through a doorway, or accidentally putting a hole in the bare wall with their pointy elbow, they somehow manage the worst.

I personally know someone who is like this.  Unfortunately, when shit starts happening on an off day – something dropped, spilled, or broken – extreme anger sets in.  I should know by now to head for the hills, but I don’t, because I’m stupid.  And then I’m suddenly the involuntary recipient of wrath.

More often than not, it’s impossible to escape the anger that ensues as a result of clumsy disaster.  Distance wouldn’t even make a difference, because phones…….

But why throw a tantrum over a broken candle, or a box of sorted screws that accidentally got kicked?  I can understand if a car gets wrecked and a $25 steak gets accidentally burned on the grill.  But having a fit over spilled screws?!  It’s not the end of the fucking world.

I just don’t get why people lose their minds over little things.




Can Thursday Be A Taco Day?

What little recall I have of my dreams this morning – I went back to sleep from 7:30 until 11:00 – obviously says I’m craving something.  But what do cravings mean, in general?  They don’t happen that often.  At least not in my waking hours.

Frequent dreams of driving and searching for the best NYC style pizza don’t surprise me anymore.  I’m far from starving.  So, why am I constantly having food dreams in the middle of all my other dreams?

In between entertaining my friend and his guests, I was sent on beer and food runs.  When I came back empty-handed, I was sent back out, with a massive order for Mighty Taco written in a notebook.  Geez, guys.  Hungry much?

If you’re not from Western New York, you won’t know what Mighty Taco is.  And if you are, then eating at Taco Bell is a sacrilege.  So is ranch dressing with your celery if you’re eating Buffalo wings.  Thick and chunky blue cheese only!

When I finally returned with bags loaded with Super Mighty tacos and double layered bean dip, I was promoted!  Then I found myself quickly shoveling in the last taco, before I was immediately put to work with the sound check guys, making sure all the equipment was correct.

Anything before or beyond tacos and sound checks, other than who I was doing sound checks for, is a blank.

But now, I’m craving tacos for real.  Mighty Taco, more specifically.  But that isn’t happening unless I want to pay outrageous shipping (yes they ship), and gain 10 more pounds.

I’m hangry, so I just might say screw it, and defrost a pound of ground beef.

But, but… there’s leftover spaghetti, damnit! No tacos today.  Definitely tomorrow.

Can you tell I want tacos?????