I’m going to cry … then die. My dreams were so vivid that when I woke up, I was soooo upset that it wasn’t real.
I dreamed I was back in school. But it wasn’t regular school this time, and I was excited, because we were learning magic tricks. There were a few familiar faces, and at first I was apprehensive because they were people who weren’t so nice to me in the past. But in my dream they were very nice, and even helped me with supplies that I forgot to bring.
We needed 4 spoons of different sizes, 2 teaspoons that matched in size, pencil and paper, sewing thread, and small squishy foam balls. I can’t remember what we were doing with most of these things, but we were each given a small book of tricks to quickly look over, and then we were doing stuff with the spoons.
Except I couldn’t manage any of the tricks because my hands are so freakishly small that I couldn’t even hang onto the spoons. My class partner magically conjured some cute rainbow colored miniature spoons, and I went to town learning the tricks. But things still weren’t working right for me. Maybe I’m not cut out for magic?
At any rate, class was over, and I was sitting outside the school on the steps, sniffling because I failed. After everyone left, a storm starting blowing in, and my ride still hadn’t shown up to take me home, so I went back inside to wait.
When I got in, the school had transformed into a huge warehouse type of setting, where there were couches and a bar inside of a square conversation pit, giant plasma screen televisions on each wall, and a plethora of other magic tricks.
I recall saying “What the hell am I supposed to do with these?” to nobody in the room. By then I was completely drained and defeated, until I heard a voice say “I’ll teach you”.
HOLY HELLLLLL!!!!!! CRISS ANGEL!!!!!! ***faint***
And of course I started crying in my sleep because Criss freaking Angel was there to save my day, and I have loved Criss since his 2003 Supernatural special aired on television.
After I got over my mini stroke because Criss Angel was there, other people started showing back up. Just a few, because it was kept hush-hush that he was even going to be there. He was so f*cking sweet.
The power had gone out in the building. So we lit a fire in the conversation pit, pulled out some huge faux wolf fur blankets …
***wish list item***
….and proceeded to cuddle until we ran out of coffee.
Then he gave me the keys to his company Escalade, which had the famous APWI logo plastered on the back end, and sent me out on a coffee quest.
The coffee quest didn’t go as planned though. I got lost in search of a place that was open. Power was out everywhere, and businesses were closing. So, I wound up going two towns over, in the middle of EBFE (east buttf*ck eternity), and promptly got lost.
It was still pouring, so I had to pull over to find a path along a heavily wooded forest that supposedly led back to where I was supposed to be. Coffee was a lost cause. I just wanted to get back to Criss!
I started to make progress along this creepy af path in the forest, until I encountered some odd looking trees. The trees had tiny blue lights inside of them, and they were following my every move. In fact, these particular trees didn’t even feel real. Then everything else around me started to take new, unrealistic shape.
Time to go BACK to the Escalade, where a huge box of steaming hot coffee was magically waiting for me! Turns out there was a keeper of the forest, and it didn’t like humans, so it went and got coffee for me, and chased me out by creeping me out with its stalkerish blue tree lights.
And then I was back to Criss, who was sleeping.
Dear dream gods: I’ll take more of THOSE dreams, please!