P-Cycle

Dear Mother Nature:

WHAT the actual f*ck???  Why you always gotta wreak havoc on women’s bladders?  Especially the hyster sisters.  It’s annoying when we have to visit the porcelain God every half hour.  And then when we decide to actually hydrate ourselves?  Forget it!  Leaving the house is a no-go!

Sneezing and coughing?

That gif should be left huge, because our ‘God dammit’ certainly isn’t small when we’re doing the ‘dance’ all the way to the bathroom.  Then we’re in SUCH a hurry that we forget to lift the lid.  And when we furiously rip our pants down, our junk is suddenly subjected to a rude awakening.

If the toilet paper is the wrong way, it’s all over, and others in the house suffer our wrath.

Don’t even try to say bladder mesh, because that shit will f*ck your insides up six ways to Sunday, and then lawsuit commercials bombard our entertainment, making us even more pissed off because we can’t watch ANYTHING without interruptions every 10 GODDAMN MINUTES!

Wear a pad, you say?  Well, I thought the whole purpose of getting our baby factories out was to stop wearing those obnoxious ammonia receptacles!