Worst Dreams Ever!

There are actually way worse, but these are some of the worst I’ve had in some time.

The first thing I recall is being out with a few friends.  We were going to the theater for a highly anticipated film.  What it was, I can’t remember.  But there were thousands of people gathering at the theater.

After I got popcorn and other concessions, my friends told me they’d meet me inside.  What I didn’t expect was a massive arena when I walked in.  It resembled a hockey arena, with a capacity of about 10,000.  There were separate screens which were divided by magical black veils.  The veils were just like what one would imagine in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

As I took my seat, I heard whispering from behind every single veil – just like in Harry Potter.  My friends still weren’t there, and I was getting anxious because our movie was starting.  To make matters worse, it wasn’t the correct movie!  At this point I wasn’t just angry.  I was horrified, because the film on our particular screen was something out of Hostel.

But instead of those characters, La Llorona showed up at the theater, and started snatching people to bury alive in coffins.  That’s not even the worst.  She somehow made these boxed up prisoners appear in the horror movie, leaving them tied to a track whilst a murderer began sawing through the coffins to see how close he can get to the bodies.

The point of the murderer doing this was to leave a weakness in the coffins, allowing an oncoming train to finish them off.  The worst part was the eyeball scene I was forced to watch, because La Llorona cast a spell on every single theater patron.  We couldn’t close our eyes or turn our heads.  OUR eyeballs were frozen in place!

After THAT horror, when all was said and done, my friends finally decided to show up.  But they were fearful, because the murderous look on MY face told them to get lost.  “Oh NO.  She’s PISSED!  Look at her face!”  And they high-tailed it out of the arena, leaving me without a ride.

Screw the f*cking ride!  I immediately woke up, shaken and feeling sick.  A full bottle of ice water and an hour later, I finally went back to sleep.  But then I woke up again at 5:30 because my subconscious told me my son had to be awake at 6:00.

After he got off to school, I had every intention of going back to sleep.  Except I had a bit of trouble at first.  With a little visualization of pleasant things and a shift of pillows, I got on my stomach, wrapped an arm around my extra pillow, and promptly died.  Only to go into more bad dreams.  Not as horrific though.

This time I was waiting for my husband.  I was inception dreaming again, I think.  He kept coming into the room, and I was dreaming that he was in bed with me beyond that.  But then when I thought I opened my eyes (in my dream), he started yelling at me for weird shit.

The first thing was all the half empty water bottles all over the room – which never happens irl, because I’m always thirsty.  The second thing was how I used his tools for something, didn’t put them back, and when he went to work, something went wrong with the machinery and I got blamed for it.

After that, he and I were folding laundry in my parents’ basement, and I started to cry – in my dream and irl.  When he told me to grow a pair, I left to go find my friends for some comfort.

But when I got to my friend’s apartment, she was getting ready to leave with her alien boyfriend.  She was dressed just like him for some reason.  I want to think maybe her boyfriend didn’t know she was human.

If you’re picturing little green men, or tall and skinny with giant heads, think again.  This alien boyfriend looked a bit more human.  Kind of nymph or elf-like, with blue skin.

I needed a ride to find other friends, so I followed them down to their uber.  But the driver had a fricken infant car seat in the back, and there was only room for two!  Dammit!  But that’s alright.  The driver made an exception after I did a bit of begging, and put the car seat in the trunk.  But then my friends were gone, and I was pissed off again.

When the uber driver yelled “GET IN NOW!”, I realized the police were after her, and she needed to get away into another city.  The city she took me to started out looking sort of OK, but things quickly got desolate and eerie.

When I questioned where all the people were, she simply said that nobody ever leaves their houses except to take their garbage out.  “Like EVER?” I asked.  Turns out they do leave their houses to get food, but only if it’s early in the morning, before sunrise.  And if you’re caught outside, you’re risking your life.

Once we reached our sort of safe destination, far away from any police, there was a warehouse, where we were greeted by more aliens.  Great….  I thought this was a safe place!

Once inside the warehouse, there were rows of curved benches, where humans were sitting, listening to an orchestra in the distance.  I was sitting opposite of those rows, in a separate section of rows, with my parents next to me.  To pass the time, I decided to have a little fun, and pretended to be the orchestra’s conductor.

Except then I had a heckler, and she didn’t like what I was doing.  And because I finally grew a pair, I approached her and started yelling.  When she tried to tell me I was messing up the orchestra’s tempo, I shot back at her “Aren’t you here a little early?  This isn’t even dress rehearsal.  It’s a regular rehearsal!”  After a few seconds of shock, she disappeared.

But then I had to go back and face my parents, who were now laughing at me, telling me how ridiculous I looked up there doing a mock performance with the orchestra.  And then I started crying again – in my sleep, and irl.

Time to f*cking wake up!  And now I hurt, because I slept in one position for too long, on my stomach.  My arms were dead from laying on them, and my back and neck were on fire.

Hopefully this was all due to a bit of over consumption yesterday.  And hopefully a bottle or two of electrolytes and a bunch of aspirin will help with the aches.  I have a busy day ahead, and I’m just getting started.

Would those be considered dehydration dreams???

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