The Only Eggs I Need

Are dragon eggs.

My GOD!  The dreams I had.  I’ll just jump right into my jumbled mess of crazy.  Because if I don’t, I’ll completely forget them.

For some messed up reason, I was back in Wal-Mart, desperately searching for my favorite shampoo.  It is discontinued irl, and I’m sad.  Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Special is the closest product I’ve found to the old Back To Basics Cool Mint.

Anyways, Wal-Mart had Back To Basics on sale, and I had to ask where it was.  When I finally found it on a secret end cap, I filled an entire shopping basket.  But when I tried to check out, I was redirected to a side room, where it was less busy, and I was less likely to get robbed of this shampoo.  OKAYYYYY???

So I went to the side room, which was sort of a passageway into another area which resembled a makeshift spa – in a campground.  On one side of the room, there were candles, art glass, and incense.  Strange music was playing, but it was nice.

On the other side of the room, there were tables loaded with antiques.  That area led to another room.  That room was at least 1,000 years old, and it was guarded by some mysterious dark, handsome dude.

I’m guessing he was in my dream because I watched Lucifer last night.  Tom Ellis is so f*cking hot – so to speak.

I don’t know why, but I was seriously drawn to Lucifer’s room.  Temptation?

Or could it have been the fact that the room was over 1,000 years old, and the walls were lined with ornately carved ebony drawers?  Each drawer required a key to open, and if you didn’t return the key to Lucifer…..

The 1,000 year old room also led to the spa, which I was totally going to try out, and use my mint shampoo!  Except the showers sucked, and they were just like showers in a campground.  But that was okay, because my best friend showed up, and she was going to do my hair afterwards.

While I was deciding which shower was the cleanest, the oracle appeared from another room at the other end of the spa, and advised me to hurry, before they ran out of towels.   She was wearing one of them.  The towels were weird.  They looked like gigantic ta ta towels.  See this previous entry for a visual, and imagine it for an entire body.

But now I was curious what this other damn room was.  Okay, okay.  I’ll take my shower.  But the oracle was in my way!  So I went to look for my friend.  By the time I got back to the shower, my friend was there, and the oracle was gone.

After my shower, I wanted to check out that other spa room.  But I still needed to pay for my shampoo.  So I went back to the original room.  The one with the candles and antiques.  Except now, it was weird, and there was a little girl walking around.  She looked lost.

The little girl was weird.  She was like the size of a large doll, and her voice was high pitched.  I asked her what toy she was looking for, and when she spoke it startled me.  She didn’t sound right.  And then she told me she was 18, and that she didn’t need a doll.  She seemed offended that I assumed she was a child.

What she was searching for surprised me.  So I helped her find the correct table, and she proceeded to play with an assortment of Chinese reverse painted snuff bottles.  At first I was stunned.  How could I have missed those snuff bottles?!  They looked just like the ones my parents used to have when I was a teenager. I had to have them!

I remember a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Almost like greed, and I was prepared to do anything to get them from this little girl’s hands.  But then she got ugly, and snarled at me.  Then a lady appeared from an area next to the antique tables.  She was catering some fancy party for Lucifer, the keeper of the 1,000 year old room.

Catering lady knew where the little girl went to, which happened to be the other room beyond the spa.  When I finally found the little girl, she was eating the snuff bottles.  As I tried to pull them out of her throat, her bodyguard appeared.

Turns out the little girl needed to eat the snuff bottles because they contained magical eggs which would return her to her dragon form.  Jesus Christ!

Backing away, I sprinted into the 1,000 year old room, where Lucifer sat with his new apprentice.  And she was taking delight in poking my ass with a long, thin cane when I was trying to pass through the room.

Except Mazikeen didn’t look like that.  She was some perverted old witch, who the 1,000 year old room was originally designed for.  She wasn’t happy that I was in her secret room.  It’s like she was protecting Lucifer, and she didn’t want any women near him.

When I finally made it out of her way, I wound up in that other room next to the spa.  That turned out to be a mini indoor flea market.  And I could finally pay for my shampoo!  But as I was in the checkout, I noticed several tiny crocheted dresses.  It was sad, because the cashier said they were for the little girl dragon.  I guess she died during her transformation

Then my alarm went off.  I really want more sleep, but now my brain is awake, thinking about Lucifer and that little girl dragon.  And now that I think about the way these rooms were all laid out in my dream, and how they all led to each other, Wal-Mart included ….

 

 

 

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