This Is What I Get For Sleeping Good

It’s autumn, and the weather is awesome, and I can venture outside again, without gasping from the humidity.  And because Kevin sleeps better when it’s cool in our room, I told him to leave the window open a few inches last night.  And then we both slept like the dead … until he got up and shut the window early this morning.
He woke up for the day, and I rolled over to get warm.  But then I went into strange dreams, and Kevin said I kept making weird whimpering and moaning noises for a good two hours.  It makes sense, considering what/who I was dreaming about.

And that’s exactly what he was doing, because in my dream, it was my birthday, and he wanted to make it very memorable, and I proceeded to have a stroke because he really did hurt like Satan.  And I guess that must’ve been what my moaning was about, because you really can have an orgasm in your sleep.  Sorry…TMI.

Thanks, Jared.  You made my night – until I started dreaming about scary giant European hornets.

After my romp with Jared Leto, I went to my parents’ house to help them clean up for the holidays.  All was great until my father opened the front door, and let a nasty wasp into the house.


And after searching for a good wasp gif, I’m like

And when my dad saw me freak out, he tried killing it with a fly swatter.  But that didn’t work, so he grabbed it, like in the gif above, and it proceeded to sting him repeatedly.  And because he was allergic, he got pissed, and ripped out its stinger with a pair of needle nose pliers – right before his hand swelled up and exploded like a balloon.

Then I gasped myself awake, because I really didn’t want to dream about any more gigantic European wasps – which are quite common in the United States.  How do I know?  I saw one last year, and it landed on my front door when I went out for the mail.  Another reason why I don’t like to go outside.

Now I need a drink because traumatic anxiety is setting in – again.


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