Whoever is hogging all of the motivation had better knock it off. I need to get my shit together and start shopping for the holidays. Don’t even get me started on cleaning the house. I’m already exhausted just thinking about everything that follows Halloween.
Meanwhile, my weird dreams are back in full swing. Last week I more dystopian dreams than I care to shake a stick at. A lot of them were quite similar to what’s currently happening on the latest season of American Horror Story. But I don’t recall enough to recount the entire sequence. And it’s way too long.
Instead, I’ll talk about last night’s weirdness.
We (me and my entire family) were returning home from somewhere I can’t recall, and we stopped at my aunt and uncle’s to stay overnight. My parents and grandparents were there, and it was a grand night of poker playing.
When it came time to leave in the morning, things were chaotic, and my father was yelling at everyone because he wanted to get home before bedtime so he could order pizza and chicken wings. And of course, because chicken wings are my favorite food, I kicked into fast forward packing mode, and looked like the Tasmanian devil as I went through the house getting my shit together.
My poor grandmother stood there wide-eyed with shock over how fast I was moving, because I’m normally a slug. Or maybe a sloth. Whichever is slower, I’ve been that way my entire life. Hell, I could sleep a week solid if I didn’t need to eat or take daily meds. And I’d still be tired!
Once everything was packed, we loaded up the van. But I almost forgot my pillow and had to run back into the house. On the way out, my aunt wanted to know how soft my pillow was, and she proceeded to take it, thinking I was giving it to her. And because I didn’t have the heart to say no, I gave in, and slumped out to the van. But on the way out, I found another pillow that was similar, and snagged it.
When we got to my parents’ house, we ordered wings and pizza, and waited for my brother and some other people to show up. But then it was almost dinner time, and we were supposed to go to the state park for a picnic. So, we rushed out there, and found out there were other family members there as well. Apparently it was national picnic day. But I had the sneaking suspicion people were showing up because I wasn’t at the family reunion in July, and they wanted to see me.
I proceeded to eat a chicken wing, and promptly got pissed because everyone else was eating our food, and they didn’t bring a dish to pass, except for my one cousin. But she was like “We brought a salad”. Everyone brings salad. I love salad, but geez!
Once it was dark, we headed back to my parents’ house to get ready for our trip home the next morning. But then another cousin showed up, and he needed a place to crash for the night. No biggie – until he was hogging the shower for the entire morning. I guess it could wait until I got into my own shower, in my house.
As I was waiting to go pee before we took off, I was playing some music on my phone, and hit play on Culture Club’s Karma Chameleon, when my cousin finally emerged – with rainbow hair. And because he thought I was making fun of him, he says “I hope the Cincinnati bridge collapses on your way home”.
Thanks, ‘cous. I love you too … jerk.