Dealing with stress and anxiety have multiple complex levels. All of which feel like an eternity of hell for those who live with either or both. But what if there are simpler ways – besides pills & therapy – to help with things like fear, or anger? Ways you never even thought would help. Continue reading
After a nasty battle with heartburn most of the night, this morning’s weird ass dreams downright pissed me off, and I don’t think I want to know what it all means, other than I know I need to lose weight. So get off my back, eh? Continue reading
Water main breaks are fun. Especially when they’re right near the pumping station. And then the entire area is either without water, or down to just a trickle. Trickle showers suck.
Even though we were warned to boil our water, I’m tempted to not use any water for cooking or brushing my teeth. Better safe than sorry. There’s weird crap coming out of the taps, and I doubt boiling or even double boiling will get rid of whatever the rusty looking crud is.
Meanwhile, last night’s dreams were sort of apocalyptic. There were a group of people, mainly a bunch of my high school friends, trying to save the world. But we had to visit a recruiter first, and for some reason, I didn’t get that recruit letter in the mail. So, I took it upon myself to go to the recruiter’s office, find my friends, and try to sneak in.
The recruiter’s office was in Rhode Island, and I had to drive through Providence to get there. As many folks know, I don’t like driving in moderate traffic, let alone crazy city traffic, where the interstate belts are nothing but twists and turns. And because I’m always driving like a maniac in my dreams, I have near brushes with death.
Given the amount of crazy I had to drive through in Providence, I more than proved myself worthy, and people were cheering me on when I arrived at the recruiter’s office. Except my mom was there looking for me, trying to stop me from risking my life. But I ran away from her, hiding in an elevator that led to God knows where.
When I got off at a random floor, there were only bathroom stalls on the entire floor. It was like a labyrinth of bathroom stalls and showers. To catch my breath, I hid in one while I planned my next move. I obviously couldn’t stand in the normal recruit line. But then the cleaning lady caught me, and she took me to a private office, where someone was waiting to interview me.
After I passed my verbal test, I was told if I wanted to save everyone from having to defeat the evil in the world, I had to find Lucifer’s minion, who happened to be hiding in the deep underground tunnels of the recruiter’s office. This got me excited, and I took off for the first elevator I could find before the interviewer got a chance to give me any further instruction.
I apparently took the correct elevator, because there was a weird slot in the walls of the elevator, and a piece of metal came out. An attached note said to find the next one and solve the puzzle. Great! This was exciting!
After about the 5th elevator and more parts, I put together something that resembled a key, and I was in the underground tunnels. The key was used to enter a scary world where Lucifer’s minion resided.
I could hear hissing all around me, and saw shadows of hunched over figures lurking in the corners of a massive basement. In one corner was an alter of sorts, and fire was burning behind it. The minion had minions of her own, and I had to answer their line of questioning, and prove myself worthy of a battle.
Because I had had it with this f*cked up dream, I demanded to see Lucifer’s minion at once, threatening to cast a spell to force her out. But all along, she was standing there, covered in a cloak. I immediately ripped the cloak away, and was shocked at what stood before me.
But she was tiny little thing. Like half of my size, and I proceeded to rip her head off, and fed her a bunch of silver rosaries via her bleeding neck. To finish her off, I threw her head into her own fire, and her minions vanished into thin air.
And because this entire dream sequence was so disturbing, I screamed myself awake to avoid being dragged to hell with that bitch.
Goblin jpg courtesy of The 80’s Movie Club
You learn something new, and quite horrifying every day. Last night, I was made aware of the fact that there are worse nasties in this world than reticulated pythons and huntsman spiders. The following made my little nasty seem like a cute little birdie. Continue reading
Just when you think you’re safe on eBay, and you’re scrolling through miniature carvings, there’s a gigantic brass vagina staring you in the face. Except it’s not listed as a vagina. But it’s obvious, and then you need to refine your search terms, to exclude ‘door of life’. Continue reading