About Cara Krzyzanowski

My love for music is considered slightly obsessive. I love it and my favorite artists more than life itself. Writing and photography fight for a close 2nd place. Me? Pffffttttt! I'm managing. I've been slacking though. Time to get back to it. Baby steps.....

Fidget Fadget

If you own a fidget spinner, raise your hand.  Or a fidget cube.  Or any other type of fidget toy that is pissing off parents and teachers across the nation.

What the hell are these things and who came up with the notion to profit on things like autism, ADHD, and anxiety?  Thanks a lot.  You’ve managed to break the piggy banks of many children whose parents have told them no.

I’m not one of those parents.  I tend to give my children more freedom and allow them to have things.  Why?  Because I was raised by a mother with an iron fist.  Cool things like fidget spinners didn’t exist.  I had Barbie dolls and a fucking 10 speed bicycle.  My fun consisted of seeing how far I could get into town before my mother noticed, and grounded me for a month.

Now, as a 46 year old mother of 2 teenagers, my eldest mocks me because I do childish things, like play online video games, and even play with and collect toys.  Not a lot, mind you, but a good fair share.  You don’t need to know how many plushies I’ve purchased in the past year.  Go ahead.  Shame me.  I don’t give a rat’s ass.  They’re soft and cuddly – unlike my husband.

Speaking of husband, last weekend, my husband and I watched Guardians of the Galaxy 1 and 2.  Groot was just so damned cute, I had to go to my local Game Stop to get a Pop Groot collectible.  It now sits next to my fidget spinner – which I can’t use because my freaky fingers are too small.  I need to get a mini spinner.  It’s still on backorder at the local mall.

But fidget spinners aren’t the only fidget toys out there.  OH NO!  If clicking or whirling sounds aren’t annoying enough, I’ve discovered begleri balls. Oh no…. another thing that requires dexterity.  I used to be really great with doing things with my hands.  I still may give them a try, but given my lack of flexibility – many thanks to aging – and recent extremity edema, I have limited range of motion in my hands.  Not to mention carpal tunnel.

Will these things cause repetitive motion injury?  Who knows?  I’m not about to find out.  I can’t sit still long enough to have something in my hands for that long.

Wait.  Isn’t that what these things are for?  To help a person focus?  I kind of have mixed feelings about that claim.  While some people swear by the calming effect and improved focusing, I tend to get antsy and discouraged very easily when I can’t pick up on what looks like should be a simple and easily learned skill.

Oh well.  At least I have crochet and adult coloring to fall back on now and then.

ADD sucks sometimes…

Sad Review

I don’t normally like to leave a negative review, but I feel the need to at least make the public aware, before they spend hundreds on something they might not be able to use, due to sizing issues.

In the past week, my husband and I have purchased a Fitbit and a Samsung smartwatch – totaling over $500.  Both of us wish to monitor our health and activities more closely.  So we figured why not hop on the technology bandwagon, and purchase ourselves some fancy newfangled fitness watches?!

Given the price of these devices, one would expect them to be almost flawless.  I’m not saying they have to be 100% accurate in monitoring your daily steps, or even your sleep patterns.  But at least make straps that fit and don’t cause chafing and sores.  I currently have 2 very large sores on my wrist, caused by my large (the straps come in small and large sizes) Fitbit silicone strap.  I’ve tried every single notch within the ‘comfort’ zone.  No relief.

My husband and I are FAR from ‘fit’.  BUT, based on reviews across the world wide web, even the skinniest of fit people are having issues with the straps fitting correctly.  I mean, my best friend who weighs what she is supposed to for her age and height is even complaining about her Fitbit strap.  She had to order a large leather one.  She’s a skinny minnie for crying out loud!  Why should she need to order a large?

My poor husband, who has always had big fat wrists even when he was skinny, has always had trouble with watches fitting him without cutting off his blood flow.

One would think that these companies would make products to accommodate ALL of their customers.  Not just the bean poles.

MY Fitbit large strap is causing sores on my wrist.  And I’m not exactly Porky Pig!  I’m close, but most jewelry and regular watches fit me without issue.

My husband can barely wear his smartwatch.  It is on the very last notch, and it squeezes the living hell out of his wrist.

Dear Samsung and Fitbit,  PLEASE START MAKING XL WRIST BANDS FOR YOUR DEVICES!  NOT EVERYONE HAS AN 8 INCH OR SMALLER WRIST.

Am I Rude and Insensitive?

I’ve recently come under some harsh comments in response to my comments on various news articles.  I’ve been told I’m rude and insensitive.

The last time I checked, raising awareness by talking about my own health experiences isn’t rude.

Example 1: I made a comment on the sudden passing of a young man who passed away from a heart attack. I made a general comment about how ‘you’re never too young for things like heart disease’.  I continued by sharing my own experiences with heart disease.  How is that ‘getting on my soapbox’?

Example 2: Another comment was about the incorrect uses of beauty products, and how they don’t belong anywhere near the female genitalia.  I understand things are causing cancer, and people suffer and lose their lives to this awful disease.  But doesn’t it make sense to NOT USE anything scented near or IN any bodily orifice? They’re chemicals for crying out loud!  And how is that statement insensitive and uncalled for (NASTY?)???

I’m only trying to make a point.  An honest and frank one.  I’m not an asshole.

I’ve had my fair share of losses, and have almost died had it not been for an emergency quadruple coronary bypass surgery.   I’m about as compassionate and sensitive as a person can get.

End of discussion.

RIP Headphone Users

Currently, I’m working on material for a YouTube channel – something I’ve been meaning to do for a few months.

I have the general idea.  I just need to refine what I’m going to vlog.

But be warned.  I literally have lost half of my hearing over the years.  As a result, I’m obnoxiously loud without realizing it.

My poor husband.  Can’t take me anywhere.

Imagine a female version of Dan Howell.  If you don’t know who that is…

 

…well, I’m not really a screamer, except when someone throws a spider at me, or one other situation.  But I won’t talk about that second thing. 😛

Stupid Human Tricks

People and their bloody party tricks!!!  I swear, the universe is out to get me.  Between eyeball scenes in horror films, an allergy induced case of never ending anxiety provoking dry eyes, and this kind of shit, my eye phobia is getting worse and worse.  To the point where I lose my shit when I get an eyelash.

As one commenter said, “MAKE IT STOPPPPPP!!!”

 

HOW do people even discover they can do this?  I mean, does she have such bad allergies, that one day she just decided to shove her fingers up there?!?!

Why not try something else?  like picking up ben wa balls with your labia, and pulling them into your woman cave without the use of hands?  Okay, that was extreme.  But not any more extreme than this!

And I thought my tongue trick was wacky.  Don’t ask.

No Quickies

I bet you were thinking I was going to write about how only parents know the true meaning of quickies.

WRONG!

I just literally came over from YouTube, after trolling yet another video.  But I don’t know if my comment was truly a troll-ish comment.  I was just trying to be helpful, by offering healthier suggestions.

 

Now by no means am I healthy!  I’m about as unhealthy as a person can get.  I don’t sleep well.  I don’t eat right.  I worry and stress needlessly.  And I sit on my fat ass most of the time.  But I do know what I need to do to get healthy.  It’s just a matter of finding what I’m not allergic to, and start eating healthier.

You see, my body is a gigantic twat waffle, and likes to attack anything good that I try to do.

Like when I go outside to walk, I start having sneezures, and I itch.  It’s like my body says ‘NO, Cara.  You’re not doing this.  Go BACK in the house!”  Okay.  So, I go back in the house, do some flights of stairs, until my knee tells me to go fuck myself, and I wind up falling, cracking my tailbone.

As for eating healthy?  Let’s just say there’s a demon named inflammation living inside of my immune system.  Inflammation is what happens when you introduce foods you’re allergic to into your body.  More allergies.  Enough to make me believe that if I were to eliminate every offender from my diet, I’d only be able to eat maybe 10% of any food that exists on this planet.

F M L

Meanwhile, there are no miracle quickies out there that makes any one individual healthy and fit.  Maintaining weight and muscle takes actual effort and routine.

I truly believe that a majority of unhealthy living has to do with lack of routine, and the ability to keep a routine.

And that, folks, is why I trolled the video above.  Just look for the ‘biting the bullet’ comment, and I dare you to say I’m wrong.

Tick Tock

I think people are purposely out to give me the heebs and the jeebs.  Last night sucked.  I was up all night, thinking things were crawling on me.  My morning shower consisted of boiling the crap out of my skin, peeling off the first layer of my epidermis with a rough loofah brush.

First there was the wolf spider in my room yesterday.  I’m glad I wasn’t the one who found it.  When I see a spider like that, I unleash what I call the spider scream.  Everyone who knows me well has come to recognize the spider scream.  A stranger might think I’m being attacked or something.

When I hear ‘OH YUCK’ out of my husband’s mouth, I knew it was bad.  My only answer was ‘I don’t want to know’ – even though I already knew without even getting up from my chair in the other room.

Then on Facebook last night – this is why I’m on Facebook less and less these days … the gross factor – some locals posted about finding ticks in their children’s hair, on their legs, etc. etc.

Apparently, because of the mild winter, the entire northeast is in for an invasion this year.

Screw you, mother nature.  Oh wait.  I’ll blame Al Gore and his bloody global warming.

I think I’d rather deal with spiders.  Well, maybe not all of them, since we now have the joy of dealing with brown recluses.  FML

Check yourselves and your children daily.

 

Research

I’ve recently been searching for local Mexican restaurants, and seem to be finding a lot of similar reviews – BLAND FOOD.

What many people may not know, traditional Mexican food tends to be bland.  It just so happens that this popular ethnic food happens to be very Americanized – often making it spicy and overpowering.

That’s not how true Mexican food is at all.

Sure, it may be appealing to the typical gringo to have their plates bursting with spice and heat (spice doesn’t equate heat), but this actually takes away from the actual flavor of what is being consumed.

Take, for instance, pinto beans – frijoles.  Okay.  Bad example.  Those are generally plain, unless the masochists out there ruin them by pouring an entire bottle of Dave’s Insanity over them.  Beans are meant to be plain!!!  When I cook them, I add half an onion and about 6 slices of bacon into the kettle, per one pound of dried pintos.  It’s really best to leave the salt out.  Add it to taste when it’s time to eat.

Most Mexican dishes are generally bland.  Peppers are traditionally roasted over a fire, then optionally added at the diner’s discretion/request.  Can you say ON THE SIDE?

There’s literally nothing like gnawing on a roasted red chili in between several forks full of frijolitos y tamales.

Don’t even get me started on tamales.

If you’re headed out for a night of Mexican, wear your eatin’ pants.  I shit you not.  A serving of beans, Mexican rice, 2 tamales, and maybe a stuffed roasted poblano chile will have you crying – if you’re not a glutton.  If you are a gluttonous person, then those few items won’t bother you.  Feel free to add in a few street tacos and some chile relleno.  But don’t complain to me about the 10 extra pounds on your scale a week later.