Barely There

First steps are like big scary demons for some people.  I’m one of those people.  But, I somehow managed to face the demon today, and took the first ginormous step in asking for help with my depression.  You can do it, too.  You deserve to be more than barely there, which is what I’ve been for the past few years. Continue reading

I’m Dead

Not really, but my EKG said I that am – three times.  My skin apparently doesn’t like the new leads they were using on me.  A cramped back and 15 minutes later, the nurse went to the doctor and asked if he really needed a reading, because I’m obviously still breathing and have a pulse.

But then it was time for my blood pressure, and I had a little bit of trouble finding my happy place.  I usually have Kevin with me the last few times I’ve visited cardiology.  But since he couldn’t get out of work today, I was on my own.

I always have a week to mentally prepare for doctor appointments, but for some reason, I forgot, and I woke up at 3:30 with a rare non-illness related asthma attack.  And then after reading Wil Wheaton’s article, I’ve been a mess all day.

Since the doctor seemed satisfied – knock on wood! – I can breathe a bit easier.  But now I wait to see my PCP in August.  But that’s not so bad, because I like him.  He doesn’t bite or force me to do things I’m uncomfortable with.  Yes, doctors need to use kid gloves with me.  Otherwise I cry.

Jesus CHRIST……….



On a more serious subject, I want to talk about pain.

There are many different types, and levels of pain – as well as reasons.  All of it can be debilitating for most who suffer with it.  Some aren’t able to benefit from pain management.  No matter what the treatment, there seems to be no hope at times.

If you’ve never experienced extended periods of pain, it’s difficult to imagine the life of a person who suffers with it for nearly a lifetime.

Some pain disorders are still widely misunderstood, therefore extremely difficult to treat, leaving those who suffer in a terrible mental state.  It’s like a domino effect of sorts.

As someone who suffers with what is considered mild arthritic neck pain (others I know would consider it intolerable given the burning pins and needles type of pain that travels to my hands), I can sympathize with those who suffer chronic pain for years.  It wears a person down in all ways.

So, please, when you hear of a person who needs pain management, don’t always assume they’re an addict.  Pain is very real, regardless of its origin.

I am one of the insane few who chooses to not medicate.  Even when I have a blinding migraine, I’ll usually opt to just go to bed, instead of taking something.

And finally, one thing that definitely helps and lightens a person’s difficult day, whether or not they’re in pain, or enduring something else, ask them how they are, and offer them a warm smile and hug.

Slow Down

Enjoy the little things while you can.  It’s not difficult to slow down from life’s daily rush.

After a weekend break due to circumstances, I’ve come to realize that even though I sit at home behind a computer, I tend to forget how some loved ones are non-stop work/play.  And then they become like this

because they lack sleep.

Sometimes, things can get much worse.

And then friends and family freak out with worry because the shit has hit the health fan.

I’m not joking.  Slow the hell down, and take care of your health before anything else.  You only live once.  And I can’t believe I just said that.

A Positive Vibe

German violinist David Garrett is receiving many of them, as well wishes and positive messages are received daily.

In a recent unfortunate health situation, Mr. Garrett’s management have reluctantly cancelled a fair amount of performances.  Fans are worried, yet hopeful for a speedy recovery.

Spine issues are nothing to ignore.  I speak from experience.  Between a herniated lumbar disc when I was pregnant with my daughter (she’s 20 now), and degenerative arthritis in the cervical spine, sometimes even the simplest of daily tasks are a challenge.

I can’t imagine playing the violin with those issues.

It’s a frightful thing to wake up with no feeling in your leg or arm.  It’s even worse when you can’t move your head, and it’s accompanied by burning ‘pins and needles’ pain that radiates right to your fingertips.

Even worse is how cervical spine issues can agitate things like tinnitus and vertigo.

But thankfully, there are miracle workers out there.  They’re called chiropractors and osteopaths.  I’m confident Mr. Garrett is receiving the best medical treatment.

Meanwhile, it is my hope that most of the fans are patient.  I don’t often view the comments section of his social media accounts, but it’s almost certain there is speculation and uncertainty.  I avoid that at all costs, tbqh.

Whilst we’re all waiting and praying for our favorite violinist, let’s enjoy a video or two from the vast plethora (is that redundant?) available on the interwebs.


Don’t forget to check out his other YouTube channel as well.

And finally, I wish to extend my get well soon wishes to David.  We love you, Maestro.  ♥