Beyond The Anger and Grief

Consider this a friendly word of advice. Take it for what it’s worth.

As a person who comes from a strong family background, I fear the ‘family’ unit has fallen apart over the years. There are too many dysfunctional ones, for many reasons which would take far too many words to list here. Infidelity, greed, and addiction are among some of the most common. And those can lead to a host of other unhealthy things.

Given how short life is, it shocks me when those with only a handful of family members left, make the decision to abandon their own blood. Have they been pushed to their limits? I often fear they will deeply regret their decision some day. But, it stands to reason that when that blood is poisonous, causing great pain day in and day out, it seems like the only option.

How is a person expected to react when they are forbidden to contact other family members, demanding exclusivity – in the name of anger and jealousy? I guess they can’t be blamed for their decision, when all they’ve done is bend over backwards, only to be met with more unreasonable demands and accusations – from multiple directions. It’s quite exhausting.

The worst part of such a situation is when the innocent are left to suffer, wondering what they’ve done wrong. And, as the years pass, the more bitter they become, not knowing who to trust, or who to point their broken fingers at.

It is my hope that any remaining decent adult family members point them in the right direction, placing proper blame where it is due. Then, maybe the poison can be flushed away for good, and relationships can be reformed and renewed, with a little effort and a pinch of trust.

Some folks just choose to completely start over. Perhaps they feel it’s best to completely detox, leaving all sources of poison behind. I just pray there are no regrets, as I’ve stated before.

Please, take care in any such decisions, even though it may seem like the only choice.

Fidget Fadget

If you own a fidget spinner, raise your hand.  Or a fidget cube.  Or any other type of fidget toy that is pissing off parents and teachers across the nation.

What the hell are these things and who came up with the notion to profit on things like autism, ADHD, and anxiety?  Thanks a lot.  You’ve managed to break the piggy banks of many children whose parents have told them no.

I’m not one of those parents.  I tend to give my children more freedom and allow them to have things.  Why?  Because I was raised by a mother with an iron fist.  Cool things like fidget spinners didn’t exist.  I had Barbie dolls and a fucking 10 speed bicycle.  My fun consisted of seeing how far I could get into town before my mother noticed, and grounded me for a month.

Now, as a 46 year old mother of 2 teenagers, my eldest mocks me because I do childish things, like play online video games, and even play with and collect toys.  Not a lot, mind you, but a good fair share.  You don’t need to know how many plushies I’ve purchased in the past year.  Go ahead.  Shame me.  I don’t give a rat’s ass.  They’re soft and cuddly – unlike my husband.

Speaking of husband, last weekend, my husband and I watched Guardians of the Galaxy 1 and 2.  Groot was just so damned cute, I had to go to my local Game Stop to get a Pop Groot collectible.  It now sits next to my fidget spinner – which I can’t use because my freaky fingers are too small.  I need to get a mini spinner.  It’s still on backorder at the local mall.

But fidget spinners aren’t the only fidget toys out there.  OH NO!  If clicking or whirling sounds aren’t annoying enough, I’ve discovered begleri balls. Oh no…. another thing that requires dexterity.  I used to be really great with doing things with my hands.  I still may give them a try, but given my lack of flexibility – many thanks to aging – and recent extremity edema, I have limited range of motion in my hands.  Not to mention carpal tunnel.

Will these things cause repetitive motion injury?  Who knows?  I’m not about to find out.  I can’t sit still long enough to have something in my hands for that long.

Wait.  Isn’t that what these things are for?  To help a person focus?  I kind of have mixed feelings about that claim.  While some people swear by the calming effect and improved focusing, I tend to get antsy and discouraged very easily when I can’t pick up on what looks like should be a simple and easily learned skill.

Oh well.  At least I have crochet and adult coloring to fall back on now and then.

ADD sucks sometimes…