Last night wasn’t so bad. Although I actually stayed up late, watching The Lake House twice in a row, because I can never get enough of that movie. Especially the song and dance. I own the DVD, but hey, I’ll still watch it when it’s on the telly.
Anyhow, my dreams … were slightly off kilter, but more normal [for me] than some of my really whacked ones.
Most of what I recall involved being back in school, except I was my current age, and everyone was preparing for a reunion prom. UGH! PLEASE, don’t make me dress up. I’m already awkward and self-conscious enough as it is.
When I finally found a dress that fit, I went into the school lavatory. Once again, the stall doors were way too high, and everyone could see my cooch when I was changing. And then the mirrors were too high, which resulted in sucky hair and makeup. But that’s okay. The dress was awesome. It was encrusted with diamonds, and everyone had to put on sunglasses so that they wouldn’t go blind.
Then it was time to wait for my date, which was supposed to be my husband, but he was nowhere to be found. Instead, an ex – who I’ll leave named as Jack (not his real name, FYI), since that’s a fairly generic name – showed up in a stretch limousine, wearing a bright green leprechaun tuxedo. But nobody seemed to care, because my diamond dress was the most obnoxious thing in the entire history of any prom at my school.
Jack was beaming, and I was overjoyed that he showed up to save the freaking day, because I’ll be damned if I suffer through another miserable prom. Then our song came on, and everyone cleared the dance floor. YIKES! Nothing like being in the spotlight!
And I got my kiss. It’s only been 34 years … WHOOPS. Did I just write that? It was only a dream!
At least I didn’t have scarlet fever for my ‘dream’ prom. FML
After the dance, it was time to go, and Jack wanted me to go somewhere with him, except it involved going to the airport. NOOOOOO! He was leaving me! And I couldn’t find my damn passport. I eventually found it, but Jack was already on a plane to Tennessee (?!?), and then I couldn’t get my passport to swipe in the machines correctly, and there weren’t any airport people around to GOD DAMN HELP!
When I finally boarded a plane, it was huge, and the inside resembled a movie theater, with red seats and walls. I have no clue what movie was playing, but everything was in sub-titles, and I couldn’t read them because they were in a foreign language. Go figure!
When I got ‘home’, I was at my parents’ house, where they were getting ready for a wedding, and Jack was miraculously there waiting for me, still wearing the green tuxedo. For f*ck’s sake, go change. I did, because the bride might be pissed if I steal her spotlight with my freakish diamond dress, which was really only on loan, and BOY, was I going to have to pay a huge fine, since I never returned it before boarding my plane.
don’t apologize for my stupid long-ass sentences. It’s my nervous tendencies, and ADHD. Which explains why people probably don’t like me, because I pretty much talk the same way. I’m loud and obnoxious.
When we got to the wedding (via the limo Jack rented for us), there were two events happening, and because we were late, we didn’t know where we were supposed to get our food from. All the tables looked the same, and strangers (wearing long white lab coats, might I add) were mixed with familiar faces.
As soon as we were about to grab plates from an empty table, with only a few desserts left, the caterers showed up and chased us away, saying that we needed to get away from that table, and go to the other side of the room. But then the wedding was over, and we ended up back at my parents’ house, where there were leftover trays of pizza and hundreds of chicken wings.
Side note: Kevin and I had pizza and wings for dinner last night, and I suspect that I probably didn’t digest things very well. Hence dreaming about them. … Did I use that word correctly?
Then things got weird, and fuzzy, and the last thing I remember was pissing off one of my cousins, and he took all the booze home with him to his house, because I apparently was too drunk! JERK.
And then I was thirsty in my dream. Something tells me that even in your dreams (I think), extreme thirst could indicate dehydration – which I am 75% of the time, due to the coffee and other awful things I consume. THEN, my subconscious remembered something else that I really wanted to do, so I woke up. At 8 freaking 30 … on a Saturday morning.
Only when I really want something do I wake up at early AF o’clock on a weekend. And now I sit here………………….
Please pass the coffee.
PS!!! WHY are most of these gifs so MONSTROUS?!?! Is the one directly above so big because I need so much coffee today???
PPS!!! Dear gif makers: Please consider resizing your shit. Thanks.
And finally – I just remembered – somewhere in the middle of my messy insecure dream was my 8th grade teacher, who I’ll leave nameless. Needless to say, I felt slightly uncomfortable, which says a lot about how this teacher made me feel irl, even to this day. I don’t think I ever want to know why.