When I was little, I always thought my parents were old. Hell, everyone seems practically archaic through the eyes of youth. But these days, with the help of Botox and other modern miracles, there are 50+ folks walking around out there, looking not a day over 30!
With fashion and makeup comes youth.
But many youths don’t see it that way. They think we shouldn’t be acting like 20-somethings.
For example, 8 years ago, when I was sick and recovering from a nasty cholecystectomy (gallbladder surgery), I went shopping for some nice clothes. I wanted skinny jeans and some low cut skimpy tops to show off my new figure. What does my daughter hand me in the store?
E X C U S E M E ? ! ? ! ? ! DO I LOOK LIKE GRANDMA?????
“But MOOOOMMMMM, you’re too old to be wearing spaghetti strap camis and skinny jeans.” Thanks kid. I love you too.
I refuse to obey the laws of aging. I’m totally going to act less than 21 – within reason. I’m discovering just how pissed off my liver is getting. AND, God is playing a cruel trick on me with dark circles under my eyes. I look like a raccoon, and I’m about to start using makeup for once, even though I never leave my house.
I hate dark circles. They make me look twenty years older than I actually am. And no amount of sleep helps. Allergies suck. So does crying all the time. Don’t ask about the crying…
That said, it’s 5:00 somewhere. Time for an early schnerpit (my big bro’s term for a few sips of somethin’ somethin’) as I make a weekend list. I love lists about as much as I love laundry.
And finally, this will be me when I’m old.