I have thoughts … all the freaking time. And a lot of times weird thoughts keep me awake at night, if my heartburn isn’t doing its job. I just had one of those thoughts when I saw a meme on social media. Mind you, the meme simply triggered the thought. The meme has absolutely nothing to do with math. Continue reading
I’ve posted in the past about assumption, and how it’s the mother of all f*ck-ups. But if I recall correctly, it was a rant, because someone incorrectly assumed something of me. Which brings me back to my original statement. Assumption is definitely the mother of all f*ck-ups.
One assumption leads to another, and then before you know it, there’s a herd of drama llamas on the loose, and then there’s a shit storm. Nobody likes a shit storm.
Shit storms leave relationships, job, and entire families in ruins. So it’s best to not assume. Get the facts, observe, observe some more, and draw conclusions. But never jump to conclusions, because that just stirs the shit storm’s pot.
And unless you’re ready to eat a lot of f*cking worms, it’s best to not open any cans by making assumptions or jumping to conclusions.
Am I being too corny today? I’m suddenly in rare form – which is good. It means I’m in a good mood. I should be in a crappy mood, given the cold rain today. Today’s tea is mighty hot and tasty.
Is it normal for people to actually talk in your dreams? There was a lot of it going on. Maybe because Kevin has the radio going, since he’s been up long before me. Technically I was up long before him, battling heartburn, but when that finally subsided, I fell back asleep at 7:30ish.
My dream started out at a concert with my daughter. It was on the river, and Tommy Shaw was the main act. Posters, tour programs, and all sorts of merch was being tossed into the crowd. I was one of the lucky ones to catch a super thick signed version of the program.
After snapping a bunch of pictures, the concert ended, and we were walking to find the car while my daughter called for an uber so she could go meet her friends somewhere. By the time I found my car, ambulances were everywhere, and my daughter disappeared.
When I got in my car, I got the phone call.
As I frantically searched downtown Buffalo for which hospital my daughter was in because they didn’t tell me, I’m pretty sure I started crying in my sleep. The first hospital I tried was weird. They were calling other hospitals while I waited, to find out where my daughter could be.
When I asked a lady why she was carrying 4 babies, she simply said “Over 100 babies are born here each day”. I recall being so astonished at how many babies there were, until she said “This is the baby hospital, after all. Everyone else goes to the other hospitals.” … OH.
When my daughter was located, Kevin had shown up by then and we were getting ready to go back to the river, where there was a hiking event happening. So, we had to park far away, catch a shuttle bus to the river, and search for the hospital our daughter was at. Except someone stopped us at the entrance to tell us she was discharged.
And then Kevin and I decided to just stay with the hiking event. But then the hikers quit, and they were either having picnics, or swimming in the river, which was toxic and dangerous because of the rapids that led to Niagara Falls.
As we were hiking along the edge of the river, I dropped my backpack from the concert, which contained my hoodie, camera, and concert program. I made Kevin go find someone who might help us get it out of the river. It was too close to the rapids, and we couldn’t even find a way to even get down there.
While he was gone, I kept seeing a few old men down there swimming. I remember thinking they got down there somehow, so I walked a little further and found an old shed which had a dark stairwell. And because I couldn’t see shineola, I shined my phone flashlight down to make sure it was safe, and broke past the ‘do not enter’ barriers.
At the bottom of the shed was a huge pile of random things, which I figured was recovered crap that people accidentally dropped into the river as they were hiking. But I couldn’t find mine, so I kept going further into the weird depths of this now stinky shed. It smelled like rotting fish. As I got further, I saw light, and an exit which led to the actual river bank.
I got so excited, and started walking along the river, where naked old men were swimming some kind of marathon. And I was a like oh shit, I’m not supposed to be here when I heard “Excuse me! Are you authorized to be down there?”. Turns out a security guard followed me to the shed, but he refused to go further than the steps, and he threatened to arrest me if I didn’t climb up the hill to get back to the hiking trail.
By the time I got back up (with my backpack which I eventually found), there were people sunbathing, and I still had no clue where my daughter or husband were. WTF?
But then my mother showed up, and she distracted me by walking us to a nearby field, where there was a flea market filled with all kinds of stuff like donuts, plushies, and some interesting antiques. But the only antique dealer there only had maybe two tables of stuff.
The lady had a stackable lamp with detachable crystal animals and silk flowers. The more you added to the thing, the brighter it got. But then my eye was caught by some swords, and some ‘bone’ pieces, which all assemble to make a cool gold flag that represented all Hispanic/Latino countries of the world. I wanted it so badly!
But when I started to dig out money, and I asked how much all of this stuff was, a little old Chinese couple came forward and started putting everything away. “We’re sorry. We can’t sell this to you. They won’t allow it through customs when you go back over the border to go home.”
When and how the hell did we get into Canada???
After yelling at my mom, asking her why she brought me somewhere I couldn’t even spend money at (mainly because some of the flag parts were fucking ivory, which I guess is banned here unless you go through a shit ton of red tape), I left the flea market and went back to search for my husband and daughter.
But my daughter had gone home, and by the time I made it back to the hiking area, my husband was emerging from that shed, minus clothes – because he had gone down into the river to look for me, and the rapids shredded his clothes when he jumped in to see if I had gone swimming!
Previous to all of the above, earlier in the night, I had brief dreams about Jack – my childhood boyfriend. That’s not his real name, of course, but he had an RV, and he was ‘helping’ me move. I won’t expand on those details…..
And now it’s sunny outside. I’m wide awake, but could’ve keep sleeping had it not been for my son all excited because it’s Easter. He just wanted the Kit-Kats and Steam gaming card. He could care less about the rest of the candy, because he’s not a normal kid, and doesn’t care much for things like ice cream or too much candy, other than the Kit-Kats of course.
WARNING! Female stuff ahead. No further explanation is needed.
Just so you know, those days are over for me. It only took almost dying from low blood count, which resulted in two units of blood and a 24 hour stay in the hospital for observation.
That in itself sucked because the doctors were having a hard time finding the right match because of whatever crap is in blood that needs to be close to mine. Apparently I have some weird antibodies. My daughter says I’m a unicorn because of my ridiculous health ‘things‘.
But I digress. This isn’t about me. It’s about the monthly suffering that God cursed women with when Eve committed the first sin. Can you imagine if she hadn’t picked that apple from the tree of knowledge???
Women wouldn’t feel the need to rip out their uterus every month, or wish for death during childbirth, because God gave us pain as our punishment.
But pain isn’t the only pain in the ass during that time. I won’t talk about literal pain in the ass for some women, because shit just isn’t ever simple when it comes to our periods. Noooooooo … We gotta go all red sea whenever we sneeze, cough, or laugh.
I apologize for nothing.
Heaven forbid there is the slightest hint of incontinence.
If any of those things happen all at once, you might as well call it quits, because you’re out of granny panties in less than a day, and you can’t wash because you’re too emotional to even remember how to properly use the settings on your washing machine.
So, you send your mom, sister or bff to the store for ‘supplies’, because everyone else suddenly vanishes, or they have to go to work, or school, or they can’t find their keys.
The only good thing about the entire situation is the legitimate excuse for eating gallons of ice cream and bags of chocolate while laying on the couch (because there is no sitting when Aunt Flo is being that obnoxious – otherwise furniture will be ruined, in addition to clothing) and bingeing on Netflix.
You are welcome.
Damn. That’s mildly annoying. But, there’s no gif of the quote I want from Risky Business. However, I believe this one suitably conveys my current state of mind.
And, I’m in an 80’s movie mood – after I catch up on all my other God damned shows! I have 2 more episodes of The Walking Dead, 3 more Stranger Things season 2 episodes, ALL of this season of The Exorcist, 6 Once Upon A Time, and THEN I can watch whatever is current, in between binge watching a few new things I’m interested in. Oh, yeah. Hubby has decided to take interest in Ash vs. Evil Dead. Hopefully the gore doesn’t bother him. I love horror, and when there’s comedy involved, it’s a lot more fun to watch with someone who totally isn’t into horror.
I hate long paragraphs! And maybe I’ll binge on Game of Thrones – a third time.
But I digress. It’s raining, and I think I’m pms’ing … AGAIN!?!?!
I woke up when I really didn’t want to. So, now I’m sitting here browsing memes, in search of something great for this entry. But, as I sat on the toilet (TMI) staring at a bottle of COMET on the window sill, this famous quote popped into my head.
What the fuck gives you freedom.
IT’S TRUE! It’s like your own little compromise with life when crappy things are always happening to you.
Hell, it beats this nonsense.
Why are these gifs always huge? How the heck do I downsize them for my site? HALP!