Necessary Warnings

Never in 35+ years have I ever encountered a defective feminine product – until today.  It was one of those almost moments.  Thank goodness I’m an observant consumer.  My lady bits might’ve suffered some undesirable consequences.  Sorry, guys.  This is a PSA for all the ladies out there who use anything to keep their nether regions clean and dry.

Side note:  Men should also be mindful.  Incontinence isn’t just a female thing.  And what about diapers?  Parents, take note!  Always inspect diapers before putting them on your little ones.  It only takes a few seconds.

Have you ever thought that something could be lurking in a sanitary napkin or a pantyliner?  Have you ever looked?  I’m not talking a quick glance to make sure everything is free of … whatever might be on the surface.  I mean holding it up to the light to be sure nothing is in the middle of the innards, where moisture is trapped.

Today was one of those days where I just had a feeling, and held a freshly opened liner up to the light.  Low and behold, there was something in the middle – as if I were spotting.  Except I don’t spot, because I no longer have a uterus.

I thought maybe I was seeing things, so I turned it around and saw the same thing.  Mind you it was a few small spots in the inside, but they were there, and I wasn’t going to use it.   At first I thought maybe it was a bit of moisture from being stored under the bathroom sink.  But since they’re individually wrapped, there’s no way it could’ve been exposed to any water droplets.

In the trash it went as I proceeded to rip open a different one.

Someone needs to have talk with quality control at Kimberly-Clark.

 

Slow Down

Enjoy the little things while you can.  It’s not difficult to slow down from life’s daily rush.

After a weekend break due to circumstances, I’ve come to realize that even though I sit at home behind a computer, I tend to forget how some loved ones are non-stop work/play.  And then they become like this

because they lack sleep.

Sometimes, things can get much worse.

And then friends and family freak out with worry because the shit has hit the health fan.

I’m not joking.  Slow the hell down, and take care of your health before anything else.  You only live once.  And I can’t believe I just said that.

Tick Tock

I think people are purposely out to give me the heebs and the jeebs.  Last night sucked.  I was up all night, thinking things were crawling on me.  My morning shower consisted of boiling the crap out of my skin, peeling off the first layer of my epidermis with a rough loofah brush.

First there was the wolf spider in my room yesterday.  I’m glad I wasn’t the one who found it.  When I see a spider like that, I unleash what I call the spider scream.  Everyone who knows me well has come to recognize the spider scream.  A stranger might think I’m being attacked or something.

When I hear ‘OH YUCK’ out of my husband’s mouth, I knew it was bad.  My only answer was ‘I don’t want to know’ – even though I already knew without even getting up from my chair in the other room.

Then on Facebook last night – this is why I’m on Facebook less and less these days … the gross factor – some locals posted about finding ticks in their children’s hair, on their legs, etc. etc.

Apparently, because of the mild winter, the entire northeast is in for an invasion this year.

Screw you, mother nature.  Oh wait.  I’ll blame Al Gore and his bloody global warming.

I think I’d rather deal with spiders.  Well, maybe not all of them, since we now have the joy of dealing with brown recluses.  FML

Check yourselves and your children daily.