Height of Stupidity – LITERALLY

What’s the last thing an idiot says before they die?  “HEY, Y’ALL! WATCH THIS!”

Well, that’s not quite what happened an hour ago, 2 doors down from me, as I stood staring out my kitchen window while dinner was cooking.  But frighteningly similar!

Before I continue, I must post a WARNING.  If you or a loved one, or you witnessed what I’m about to describe (someone falling from a ladder), stop reading right now.

Now I can continue.  But only because I need to get this off my shoulders – or I won’t ever sleep again.

My husband will never say these words to me again: “Honey, come here.  You need to see the height of stupidity!”  As I shuffled out of my comfy chair from the living room, grasping a nice beverage, he points out the kitchen window, saying “Look at THIS idiot”.  On the other side of my neighbor’s house (thank GOD she wasn’t home!), a young man was sitting on the edge of a third story roof, negotiating a flimsy ladder, which was obviously mocking him, saying “Dude, you’re NOT getting down without a little grief”.

His legs were dangling as his logic fell right before he did.

It was clear he was up there for non harmful reasons – inspecting a wind damaged roof.  BUT, his means of getting down were EXTREMELY harmful – almost fatal – had it not been for a second story roof on the backside of the house.  Needless to say, you DON’T get on a ladder the way this guy did.  He missed the ladder rung.  Flying face first, he bounced off the second story roof, then landed on the ground.

Luckily, the “YOU DUMB ASS, YOU’RE NOT DYING YET” gods were looking out for him.  And then he got to his feet, staring back up at the 30 foot roof.

As I replaced my water with 4 ounces of 100 proof whiskey in an attempt to erase what I just witnessed, I briefly wondered if he’ll ever step foot on a ladder again.

Now excuse me, while I call someone to talk to.

 

Stupid Human Tricks

People and their bloody party tricks!!!  I swear, the universe is out to get me.  Between eyeball scenes in horror films, an allergy induced case of never ending anxiety provoking dry eyes, and this kind of shit, my eye phobia is getting worse and worse.  To the point where I lose my shit when I get an eyelash.

As one commenter said, “MAKE IT STOPPPPPP!!!”

 

HOW do people even discover they can do this?  I mean, does she have such bad allergies, that one day she just decided to shove her fingers up there?!?!

Why not try something else?  like picking up ben wa balls with your labia, and pulling them into your woman cave without the use of hands?  Okay, that was extreme.  But not any more extreme than this!

And I thought my tongue trick was wacky.  Don’t ask.