I Have Questions!

I like to consider myself reasonably normal – whatever that word means these days.  But when I start seeing the weird parts of the internet, I begin to question humanity.  YouTube, step aside.  Amazon is giving you a run for your money.  No pun intended.

I don’t know about y’all, but I don’t need a fake tongue.  I have my own, thank you very much.  And if mine becomes incapacitated, I have Kevin’s.  And I’ll leave that statement right there, and move on to my first question.

Just HOW are fake tongues used in a ‘Halloween’ costume???

Speaking of Halloween, I’ll no longer be handing out candy because I’m slightly paranoid one of these might come knocking.

And if I want a slimmer face, wouldn’t it make sense to visit a plastic surgeon???

In the voice of Larry the Cable Guy, I BELIEVE that thing belongs in an adult bookstore.

And finally, I won’t put a picture or link, but I’m pretty sure if I were pulled over, I might get arrested for having a phallic stick shift cover.

Thanks a lot, Amazon.


Extra Bizarro

That word always makes me laugh whenever I hear it.  I can’t remember where I originally heard it, but it’s one of my favorite word morphs.  Prepare yourself for bizarro.  Not just bizarre.  That’s too tame for my dreams early this morning.  Where do I even begin???  The following is all kinds of f*cked up.

Most of this dream cycle revolves around family, a party, and an extremely weird auction.  Continue reading