In case you’re not sure, the title is meant in a dark, sarcastic tone. Last night’s dreams sucked. BIG time. My mother returned for judgement, and now I don’t want to sleep tonight.
I know it’s my guilty subconscious prodding me, for doing things I shouldn’t have in the past, and things I still do to this day. But I already feel guilty enough during the day. Why must she constantly give me that look, and yell at me in my dreams???
The dream sequence started out so-so, with me helping my parents and grandmother clean the house while my mom and grandmother went to run errands. There was a list of phone numbers on the door of the microwave cart, and they kept coming back in because they couldn’t find the right phone number for a lawyer.
Once I figured out the lawyer’s name, I panicked because there were literally at least a dozen phone numbers of people with the same first name. And when I panic, my voice gets loud and high pitched. “But there’s like 12 David’s on this list and none of them match the last name you gave me!!!” Then my grandmother got testy and ripped the list off the door.
Tangent: As I was looking for a gif for ‘sheesh’, I ran across this
and my heart melted, because 1. I absolutely love and adore Misha Collins (Castiel on Supernatural), and 2. I’ve been wanting a huge Kevin minion ever since minions came into existence … for obvious reasons.
Meanwhile, I wound up getting angry at my mother, yelling all kinds of foul things because I had had enough, and left the house – with my grandmother’s words of how heartless and cold I was, and that I was a terrible daughter, trailing behind me as I slammed the door.
It was cold outside, but everything still looked like it was summer. I needed to find shelter soon, because
So I went to a neighbor’s house, where there were a bunch of people. Everyone looked familiar, but they didn’t recognize me. Or … they were shunning me. Screw them. I decided to find a room (there were about 50 rooms) with an available bed so I could rest. But none were available. There were a bunch of little kids sleeping. What I was puzzled about was where did they all come from?
Then some gal about my age showed up and told me to jump on her back. But I was like “You can’t possibly hold my weight”. But she did, and proceeded to carry a bunch of my clothes and a folding chair in her hands. Who was this chick? Wonder Woman???
By the time she found me a room, we had somehow made our way through a labyrinth that led back to my parents’ house. But they were long gone. They moved out, and all the other people were there. So I slinked up to my old room where it was safe from weird people, and took a nap.
After my nap, I heard a party, and decided to check it out. The crowd changed, and guys from past local rock bands were there to greet me at the bottom of the steps, telling me how much I’ve grown. I recognized them, but they looked weird. Like their faces weren’t real. They were masks … like PURGE masks … and I ran to my room to hide in my secret hiding space, which I was surprised was still intact.
Once I was sure everyone was gone, I escaped from the house and was led to a cabin in the woods to wait for instructions. It sucked though, because it was getting really cold, and I was told to wait outside on a huge wooden platform over a lake. The next scene that unfolded scared the shit out of me.
I heard yelling in the distance. Then gunshots. But I understood why, because there was a rabid raccoon attacking a squirrel. It was scary AF, and then more raccoons and other weird creatures started showing up everywhere, and I started freaking out because there I was exposed. Until a cute little rottie showed up to protect and keep me warm.
He was soooooo cute, I almost cried, wondering who he belonged to and if he was hungry. But a nasty crow landed at my feet, which made me shriek at the top of my lungs, followed by a raccoon slowly inching its way toward me and the puppy! By this point, I could see hundreds of hunters surrounding the platform I was on, killing raccoons by the dozens. Except for the one coming at me!!!
The only thing I could do was grab the raccoon by the tail and start beating the gross crow with it. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m frightened of large birds of any type, and I’ll be damned if I die a slow painful death by crow.
When I finally got away, with the puppy in my arms of course, I was led into a long underground tunnel, which led me to another town. Or maybe it was another dimension. Whatever the case, I was transported back to the 1700’s …. AND it was winter.
A horse drawn wagon showed up, large enough to hold about twenty people. But only the people that came through the tunnel. Atop one of the horses was Sam Heughan, and I almost had a stroke because he’s just as hot in person as he is on screen.
Then Caitriona Balfe showed up, shouting at everyone to get supplies from the truck (there were trucks in the 18th century?????). But we were only allowed to choose one personal item. And when I started to complain, someone next to me said “Well at least you have your hoodie and shoes”. I guess I’ll get a blanket.
The final weird thing that happened was a lady walked up to me, asking to see my hand. I guess I had a birthmark that I never knew about, and she matched it up to hers, on the same spot. “OH MY GOD. It’s YOU. I’ve finally found you.”
Me: “What are you talking about?”
Her: “You’re the daughter I gave up for adoption in order to keep you safe!”
Me: “But … BUT … I was born in the 20th century!”
But somehow she knew my name, and all of my skeletons, as if she’s been watching me from afar. And because a sword fight broke out when the enemies showed up, I forced myself to wake up to avoid getting stabbed when the ice king found out who I was.
Time for coffee, because it really is cold outside.
Just Me And My Music 