Overthinking

It makes for craptastically awesome headaches.  And I’m definitely overthinking things when it comes to categories, tags, and how to arrange my content.  I know, I’m sloppy.

Trying to come up with something separate for my crocheting is not going well.  I was hoping for a side site of sorts.  But, I think I’m stuck just adding any crochet entries into my main blog.

I guess it’s better than ‘Cara’s Crochet Chronicles‘, which almost became a completely new and separate blog – which I’m trying to avoid.  I used to have 2 blogs, and it’s too much for my ADHD.

Speaking of ADHD, I need to rethink my categories.  There are too many.  I’ve learned that effective tagging is the way to go.

Meanwhile, prepare for occasional entries about my temperature blanket progress, and other unfinished projects, which have been sitting around for at least 2 years.

Send Eye Bleach … ASAP

Better yet, just give me a mini scoop.  You know, the kind that makes mini melon balls.

All I wanted was something like this!

But NOOOOOOOOO!  Giphy had to go and do THIS to me.

I guess that’s what happens when I try to blog late in the day.  The weird side of the internet decides to attack unsuspecting innocents.

Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

Is it too late for a beverage?  I’m slightly afraid to sleep tonight.

 

How To Avoid Rebound Flu

…when your spouse comes down with the plague…

Become encrusted with something impenetrable.

Purchase gallons of disinfectant, douse the house with it, and light a match – after wrapping said spouse in layers of bubble wrap for an escape, whilst wearing something suitable for nuclear fallout.

Or, just load up on zinc and vitamin c, purchase extra Clorox wipes, Lysol spray, face masks, gloves, and hope for the best, whilst sleeping in the other room.

If I get sick again, I’ll be pissed, because hubby is the sharing type, and I don’t like to share germs. I’m a germophobe (sp?). If he weren’t my husband (for better or worse … sickness and health … blah blah blah), I’d be staying at the hotel down the road.

STAY AWAY

Wide Awake

I was half dead, up until 40 minutes ago, when my son yelled “WHOA, THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE YARD!!!”

I was prepared to grab my camera, thinking COOL! A DEER. But when I asked him how big the deer was, he was like No. It’s something else. HE looked like a deer in headlights when I approached him as he stood frozen at the front door, still waiting for the bus.

And then I saw it, hopping across our front yard – which is very small, might I add.

For a second I was like oh no until it headed toward the street.  And then I was like OH SHIT, preparing for major stink if it got hit, because there was a car quickly approaching.  And then the SKUNK was like WHOOPS! and headed back toward my front porch, and then I was like OH F*CK!!!

Then I thought, well, my son isn’t going to school because if this little stinker doesn’t go away, he won’t be going out the door to the bus, because he’s afraid of everything outside.  And I am currently without transportation to take him in.

And then I was like “That thing don’t look right”.  And then my son was all “Aww BUT HE’S ADORABLE”.

And then I was like “You won’t think it’s adorable if he sprays you.  Then we’ll have to burn all of your clothes, and you’ll be soaking in a tub full of tomato juice to get rid of the stink”.  And he was like “We’ll even have to burn my phone?!”, because he didn’t care at all that he would’ve had to take his clothes off outside, because that shit isn’t coming into my house.

Now excuse me.  My inner IBS has woken, and I desperately need to address it – before there’s a problem.

Good morning.

Sometimes You Just Gotta Say…

Damn.  That’s mildly annoying.  But, there’s no gif of the quote I want from Risky Business.  However, I believe this one suitably conveys my current state of mind.

And, I’m in an 80’s movie mood – after I catch up on all my other God damned shows!  I have 2 more episodes of The Walking Dead, 3 more Stranger Things season 2 episodes, ALL of this season of The Exorcist, 6 Once Upon A Time, and THEN I can watch whatever is current, in between binge watching a few new things I’m interested in.  Oh, yeah.  Hubby has decided to take interest in Ash vs. Evil Dead.  Hopefully the gore doesn’t bother him.  I love horror, and when there’s comedy involved, it’s a lot more fun to watch with someone who totally isn’t into horror.

I hate long paragraphs!  And maybe I’ll binge on Game of Thrones – a third time.

But I digress.  It’s raining, and I think I’m pms’ing … AGAIN!?!?!

I woke up when I really didn’t want to.  So, now I’m sitting here browsing memes, in search of something great for this entry.  But, as I sat on the toilet (TMI) staring at a bottle of COMET on the window sill, this famous quote popped into my head.

What the fuck gives you freedom.

IT’S TRUE!  It’s like your own little compromise with life when crappy things are always happening to you.

Hell, it beats this nonsense.

Why are these gifs always huge?  How the heck do I downsize them for my site?  HALP!

 

 

Happy Bag Day

Oops. I did it again. No Britney Spears pun intended. I’m just being an asshole.

I can’t stand Valentine’s Day. Especially right now, as I’m sitting here stewing over something I’ve been ignoring. But I won’t get into that. It’s personal.

So, shall we talk about porn, and how wrong it is to even think about other people that way if you’re in a committed relationship? I’m not sorry, but if you truly love someone, then you shouldn’t need to look at porn. Or even think about it.

I hope I’m waking all the suspicious (and guilty) minds out there. This problem needs to be addressed. And if you’re guilty of viewing porn, then you’re obviously not ready for a commitment. You may think you are. But you’re not, and any relationship you enter into, will end badly sooner or later.

There’s no if’s and’s or but’s about it. It’s disrespectful to not only the one you’re secretly hurting, but also to the person(s) you’re busy getting off to. It’s fucking creepy, tbh.

Now excuse me as I go watch out the window for my ‘I’m sorry’ flowers.

Have a nice fucking day – literally.

Cat And Mouse

Snapchat is awesome. It knows people on a personal level. Whoever creates all the Bitmoji stickers has obviously experienced every emotion there is to experience.

But that’s not why I’m writing this. I just need to finish venting.

I’m either pms’ing, pre-menopausal, lacking/missing something, completely done, or all of the above. It’s just a good thing there’s nothing breakable within close reach. I might have grabbed it and lobbed it through a window a little bit ago.

It takes a lot for me to reach a point. I don’t like being pushed to that point. It rarely happens, so I think I deserve a rant – without any explanation.

It’s also a good thing my husband wasn’t around to see me lose my temper. He would’ve demanded to know what the hell my problem is today. And I’m not ready to talk about that. Not until the dust clears. And I’m not exactly sure when that’ll happen, which adds fuel to my currently massive fire.

Do I sound like I’m pms’ing? I wish it were that easy. Maybe I’m just a lonely housewife who needs some fresh air and a healthy body.

Snapchat stickers can sum up my mood today.

I went from

early in the day after checking my email (something I do at least 10 times a day lately). So, I went back to sleep, because I didn’t want to think.

Then this happened when I got up.

And by the time my husband called on his lunch, and I mentioned a concert coming up, and he said “We’ll see” … this happened

And I was like whatever and nevermind. And when he got aggravated, this happened.

After some of the emotions passed, it was time for hubby to call on his way home from work. And then I was back to this.

Which did absolutely nothing, except make me more miserable.

Then it was dinner time. My choice. Since I’m sick of dieting, I said fuck it, and asked if we could have chicken fingers and fries. That seemed agreeable with hubby, and dinner was decent.

But then he went out to the store for a few things, and stupid me, I had to check something online. And this happened.

And I slammed a fist down on the table, which really hurt my hand, and now I’m currently back to this

and this

And since there’s nothing to drink, I’m currently gnawing on crackers, even though I’m not hungry BECAUSE I JUST BLOODY ATE DINNER!!!

Okay, I think I’m done. And I think I need to avoid the internet for a while, with the exception of my blog.

Is it bed time yet?

Thanks Twitter!

So I go over to my Twitter account, and I see #FatTuesday in the trends for you column.

I know I’m fat.  No need to remind me with pictures of donuts and other things I can never eat again.

Meanwhile, as I browse the offensive tag (you get my sarcasm?), I do agree with one thing in the tag.  Those who receive food stamps should not be allowed to purchase anything unhealthy.  Or steaks, or anything else luxurious.  Buy some damn fruits and vegetables!

If I have to suffer – and I don’t receive any benefits! – then so should the freeloaders.

Sorry.  I still haven’t had my second cup of coffee.  And I think I’m pms’ing.  Thank God it’s only my ovaries.  I think I’d throw in the towel if I still had a uterus.

See a trend here?  I dreamed about pizza.  Yes.  I’m craving pizza.  I’m definitely pms’ing.  And Mr. Daniels has been dry for 2 days now.  Can I cry yet?  I think I deserve it.

PS:  Isn’t Tuesday supposed to be TACO TUESDAY???

I Need Another Mask

The one I have is worn out. People (mainly my husband) are starting to see through it.

How else does one cope with constant disappointment? I know, life is nothing but disappointments. My former doctor in New York would tell me to suck it up. Meanie. But doc, I can only suck so much, before it turns pornographic!

I apologize for nothing.  I just had to throw in my dirty mind.

Could I maybe conjure a spell or something similar, to protect myself from constant letdown?  Depression is exhausting enough.  Adding insult to injury just sucks gigantic elephant balls, and I’m tired of it.

I’m tired of hoping, wanting, wishing, and dreaming.  It’s all bullshit, because in some past life, I must have done something horrific, and now I’m paying for my sins.  It’s as simple as that.  Someone, somewhere, does not want me happy.  Or healthy, for that matter.

I guess all I can say is ‘oh well’.  I’ve had a few years of fun.  The party is over.  Back to reality, being poor, and bored with nothing to do except rot in my recliner, staring out a window.

Depression sucks.  And this is one of those days.  I’ll be fine.  Promise.