I’m all for them – within reason!

At least once a day, I find things in my spam comments section that makes me SMH. Every single one of them tells me what y’all’ve (Y’ALL’VE???) searched for – which leads me to wonder if I need to go back through all of my entries, to make sure I didn’t accidentally write about mommy or daddy kinks.

Like, WHAT THE HELL, people?

I’m not kink shaming, but please don’t leave those kinds of comments – unless I ask for them.

Time to clear my cache…


It’s almost Halloween!

Why am I excited?  Because it’s the best time to binge on horror films.  My favorite!

While I’m sure most of those who personally know me would go and say “No wonder you can’t sleep”, I simply say “They’re just movies”.  Can creepy horrific things happen?  Of course!  It isn’t pleasant to think of the horrors that happen on a daily basis.  This is why I like the horror genre.  When the movie is over, it brings me back to reality, and helps me realize how lucky I am, and how good I have it compared to some – generally speaking.

But back to having the crap scared out of me.  One of my worst fears is clowns, but I still watched IT (the original) the other night, and sat in my chair with a huge pillow, peering over the edge of it the entire time.  Some people watch horror through the slits of their fingers.  I hug a gigantic pillow.

I’m debating whether or not to head out to the cinema to see a new film – especially by myself, for a horror/thriller.  There are a few really good ones, including the new IT, and Mother.  A good friend told me Mother was all kinds of messed up.  I asked her if it was as messed up as Get Out (which was awesome!), and she responded with “There were some disturbing parts, but it was a good movie”.

Now I’m conflicted.

I suppose I could take another glance through Netflix and Hulu – to save me money at least.  I mean, the only people who can afford actually going to the cinema are pimps and drug dealers.  Who has that kind of income otherwise, to afford a ticket, popcorn, candy, nachos, ice cream, AND a drink?

I’ll stick with what I currently have – like my satellite provider, and Netflix, and Hulu.  Or maybe I’ll check out Redbox.  Do those still exist?  I rarely leave my house anymore, let alone look at what’s around me when I DO.

Since I’ve already made up my mind that I’m staying in (it’s cold outside!), could y’all throw some suggestions my way?  I’ve already watched Gerald’s Game, and holy F*CK.  That handcuff escape scene.  Way worse than watching Negan bludgeoning Abraham and Glenn’s skulls to a bloody pulp in The Walking Dead.

In addition to my eye phobia and any horror scenes containing eyeballs, I now have a new phobia.  Hand torture.  Luckily for me, I can usually predict when a really gross thing is going to happen.  I can handle most gore, but eyes and hands … NOPE!

And here I thought The Walking Dead desensitized me.


Tiny Leaps And Bounds

Have you ever been so confused that you need to start over?

I don’t know how people juggle multiple platform accounts. I guess that’s what managers and teams are for.

But I’m just a nobody. I’m a stay at home mom, just trying to organize and consolidate my social media. It is not easy. But, I’m getting there. All I need is content, which I’m working on. I have a mile-long list of ideas. I need to get my sh*t together and write the bloody material.

My blog is just part of the picture – the beginning stages. Honestly, I really don’t know how people like Jenny Lawson manage things. What’s the secret? Should I just stick with a few platforms, and leave it at that?

I see creators across many more platforms than I’m willing to attempt. I guess I’ll just take it a few tiny steps at a time, and see where it goes.

It’s not really my intention to get anywhere. It’s really just an outlet, to be quite honest. An outlet to keep me busy, until I go back to school.

Do I DARE create a Tumblr? Is that platform even the place for the content I want to create? I’m slightly afraid.

I’m open to suggestions.

PS: It’s Friday the 13th, and I’ve created brand new Twitter and YouTube accounts. Yesterday it was Facebook. God help me.

This Isn’t Easy

Some folks may not know, but October 10th was world mental health day.

I didn’t really think much about it, until one of my favorite YouTube personalities uploaded a video.

Now first of all, let me just say, I’m usually prepared for a laugh and a bunch of “AAAWWW”s when I sit to watch this young man.  He and his flatmate are my literal sunshine for the past year or so.

But nothing prepared me for the deep seated, repressed emotions (and an ocean of tears) that came rushing to my surface as I sat here listening to his story about depression.

He absolutely nailed it.

It’s difficult to describe to a person who isn’t depressed what it feels like.

To put it into perspective, it feels like being trapped within your own dark, empty head.  You don’t feel like doing anything, even though there are things you want to do.  So, you sit in a chair, arguing with yourself about whether or not it’s worth getting dressed to go out for that coffee you so desperately need to even be functional.  And then when you finally decide screw it, I’m staying home, then you feel worse.  The day is over – at 11 a.m. – because that’s when you finally dragged yourself out of bed.

There’s a mask that depressed people often wear.  When they finally decide to leave the comfort of their homes for whatever reason (usually because they have no choice), they do it with a forced smile and bubbly voice.  But sometimes that mask isn’t enough.  To be quite honest, they’d rather be cloaked, hidden from judgemental eyes and minds.

And finally, when anxiety accompanies depression, life is absolutely torturous.

Not only do you sit and stare at four walls, wondering why you’re like this, but the what-if’s begin to stab at your brain, agitating your last nerve with a glowing red pitchfork.

It’s exhausting.

So, please.  Keep these things in mind when approaching anyone on any given day.  Think of them, and ask yourself if they’re okay.  Then ask them how they are.  Offer to just sit and chat with them.  Even though they’ll most likely say “I’m fine”, and politely decline your offer, the gesture alone will mean the world to them, and it will lift them up a LOT.




Open Your Eyes

I do my best to not leave many political responses on the interwebs, but it has become increasingly disturbing how so many people [worldwide] have lost sight of the basics.  I feel compelled to say something.  So, why not here, where there is a little less ‘traffic’?

Without going into too many specifics, I’d just like to say a few things.

In lieu of 9/11, and countless horrific events that have followed since then, I often wonder something.  Call me a conspiracy theorist if you must, but isn’t it obvious how these things are precursory distractions for something far more horrific already in the works – and most likely SOON to happen, especially since Trump is in office?

People are so hellbent on resisting, creating more anger and hatred, I fear for the future of the human race.

We are literally in the middle of self destruction.

PLEASE, open your eyes, and realize what is happening.  We are on the verge of civil war.

We all need to stop, look, and listen.  Be mindful and very aware.  Concentrate on improving yourself and living your own life, rather than trying to control how others think and live.

Come Again?

I just had to go and ask a dumb question.  What’s wrong with me?  I need to think things through, and use Google more often, apparently – before asking my husband weird questions.

The other day, my daughter was talking about how her 6 foot 3 inch boyfriend throws her over his shoulder.  This reminded me of when my husband did that to me, back in our college days, and when my ex-boyfriend (rest in peace) did the same thing.  He also was over 6 feet tall.

On his way home from work earlier (YAY for early days!), I decided to ask my husband why men throw their women over their shoulders.  After a few moments of silence, I hear a snicker, followed by “It’s a caveman thing”. ………………………………………. and more laughter after he heard my response.  I’m certain he imagined my matching facial expression.

So, I proceeded to Google anyways, and found out that it’s probably because they like to ‘sweep their women off their feet’.  RIGHT.

I don’t know the real answer, but I’m going to assume it’s to demonstrate strength and dominance – because what women doesn’t want a strong, dominant man?

Wait … what did I just admit to?



Good News For Bigfoot!

Just a bit ago, when my husband called me during his lunch hour, he sat in his office reading me some pretty interesting laws.

I’d just like to know one thing:

When did sasquatch poaching become an issue? I mean, did some guy have a basement full of bigfoot fur, and one of his jealous hunting buddies decided to blow him in to the authorities at fish and wildlife?

And just how many sasquatch are out there if it is an issue? Do I even want to know? I’ll stay right were I’m at, thank you very much. No wooded mountains for me!

I’m usually up to snuff on some of the more common myths. Hence when hubby read me these laws, I choked on my coffee when he said it’s illegal to kill sasquatch in Washington state.

Even more bizarre is when the police have to take a cat away for chasing a dog up a telephone pole. “Sorry, Fluffy. I don’t care who started it. You’re coming with me.”

And finally, you know the current situation in America is bad when dogs start getting offended because their owner made a face at it – which is illegal in Oklahoma, in case you didn’t know.


Locks of gold
Orbs of light
Manicured digits
Presence excites

Veiled countenance
Confident stance
Enchanting energy
Provoking a trance

Resentfully sharp
Prowler beware
Gone in an instant
Much like a hare

Such beauty should be
Observed with respect
Lest it transform
In attempt to deflect

Listen don’t look
Wise words train
For those who take heed
Glorious sound shall remain

Original poem by Cara Krzyzanowski 18 August 2017


Ad Senseless

What is happening with YouTube?  And the internet for that matter…

Well, YouTube really isn’t the root of the problem. It’s the human race in general.

But why?

What a shame if the concern about hate speech is preventing many aspiring hopefuls from earning money.

I understand the need to reduce as much hate speech as possible, but come on.  Whether or not it is eradicated from [social] media, hate will always exist. As will many other less than positive behaviors and thought processes.  There are no two ways about it.  Suppression does not equal elimination.

I’d say these restrictions target at least 75% of the content on YouTube.

I hate to break it to everyone, but life will never be strictly rainbows and unicorns. Good cannot exist without evil, and vice versa.

Limiting free speech only strengthens anger and hate.

Sooner or later, creators will become fed up, and resort to alternative moneymaking options. Many are already switching to Patreon. Where will that leave sites like YouTube?

Sorry, but there is no true ‘safe place’ in the world.

And finally, S M H.