RIP Headphone Users

Currently, I’m working on material for a YouTube channel – something I’ve been meaning to do for a few months.

I have the general idea.  I just need to refine what I’m going to vlog.

But be warned.  I literally have lost half of my hearing over the years.  As a result, I’m obnoxiously loud without realizing it.

My poor husband.  Can’t take me anywhere.

Imagine a female version of Dan Howell.  If you don’t know who that is, just search YouTube for ‘Dan Howell Screaming’.

Or watch him play this…

Well, I’m not really a screamer, except when someone throws a spider at me, or one other situation.  But I won’t talk about that second thing. 😛

Stupid Human Tricks

People and their bloody party tricks!!!  I swear, the universe is out to get me.  Between eyeball scenes in horror films, an allergy induced case of never ending anxiety provoking dry eyes, and this kind of shit, my eye phobia is getting worse and worse.  To the point where I lose my shit when I get an eyelash.

As one commenter said, “MAKE IT STOPPPPPP!!!”

 

HOW do people even discover they can do this?  I mean, does she have such bad allergies, that one day she just decided to shove her fingers up there?!?!

Why not try something else?  like picking up ben wa balls with your labia, and pulling them into your woman cave without the use of hands?  Okay, that was extreme.  But not any more extreme than this!

And I thought my tongue trick was wacky.  Don’t ask.

No Quickies

I bet you were thinking I was going to write about how only parents know the true meaning of quickies.

WRONG!

I just literally came over from YouTube, after trolling yet another video.  But I don’t know if my comment was truly a troll-ish comment.  I was just trying to be helpful, by offering healthier suggestions.

 

Now by no means am I healthy!  I’m about as unhealthy as a person can get.  I don’t sleep well.  I don’t eat right.  I worry and stress needlessly.  And I sit on my fat ass most of the time.  But I do know what I need to do to get healthy.  It’s just a matter of finding what I’m not allergic to, and start eating healthier.

You see, my body is a gigantic twat waffle, and likes to attack anything good that I try to do.

Like when I go outside to walk, I start having sneezures, and I itch.  It’s like my body says ‘NO, Cara.  You’re not doing this.  Go BACK in the house!”  Okay.  So, I go back in the house, do some flights of stairs, until my knee tells me to go fuck myself, and I wind up falling, cracking my tailbone.

As for eating healthy?  Let’s just say there’s a demon named inflammation living inside of my immune system.  Inflammation is what happens when you introduce foods you’re allergic to into your body.  More allergies.  Enough to make me believe that if I were to eliminate every offender from my diet, I’d only be able to eat maybe 10% of any food that exists on this planet.

F M L

Meanwhile, there are no miracle quickies out there that makes any one individual healthy and fit.  Maintaining weight and muscle takes actual effort and routine.

I truly believe that a majority of unhealthy living has to do with lack of routine, and the ability to keep a routine.

And that, folks, is why I trolled the video above.  Just look for the ‘biting the bullet’ comment, and I dare you to say I’m wrong.

Tick Tock

I think people are purposely out to give me the heebs and the jeebs.  Last night sucked.  I was up all night, thinking things were crawling on me.  My morning shower consisted of boiling the crap out of my skin, peeling off the first layer of my epidermis with a rough loofah brush.

First there was the wolf spider in my room yesterday.  I’m glad I wasn’t the one who found it.  When I see a spider like that, I unleash what I call the spider scream.  Everyone who knows me well has come to recognize the spider scream.  A stranger might think I’m being attacked or something.

When I hear ‘OH YUCK’ out of my husband’s mouth, I knew it was bad.  My only answer was ‘I don’t want to know’ – even though I already knew without even getting up from my chair in the other room.

Then on Facebook last night – this is why I’m on Facebook less and less these days … the gross factor – some locals posted about finding ticks in their children’s hair, on their legs, etc. etc.

Apparently, because of the mild winter, the entire northeast is in for an invasion this year.

Screw you, mother nature.  Oh wait.  I’ll blame Al Gore and his bloody global warming.

I think I’d rather deal with spiders.  Well, maybe not all of them, since we now have the joy of dealing with brown recluses.  FML

Check yourselves and your children daily.

 

Research

I’ve recently been searching for local Mexican restaurants, and seem to be finding a lot of similar reviews – BLAND FOOD.

What many people may not know, traditional Mexican food tends to be bland.  It just so happens that this popular ethnic food happens to be very Americanized – often making it spicy and overpowering.

That’s not how true Mexican food is at all.

Sure, it may be appealing to the typical gringo to have their plates bursting with spice and heat (spice doesn’t equate heat), but this actually takes away from the actual flavor of what is being consumed.

Take, for instance, pinto beans – frijoles.  Okay.  Bad example.  Those are generally plain, unless the masochists out there ruin them by pouring an entire bottle of Dave’s Insanity over them.  Beans are meant to be plain!!!  When I cook them, I add half an onion and about 6 slices of bacon into the kettle, per one pound of dried pintos.  It’s really best to leave the salt out.  Add it to taste when it’s time to eat.

Most Mexican dishes are generally bland.  Peppers are traditionally roasted over a fire, then optionally added at the diner’s discretion/request.  Can you say ON THE SIDE?

There’s literally nothing like gnawing on a roasted red chili in between several forks full of frijolitos y tamales.

Don’t even get me started on tamales.

If you’re headed out for a night of Mexican, wear your eatin’ pants.  I shit you not.  A serving of beans, Mexican rice, 2 tamales, and maybe a stuffed roasted poblano chile will have you crying – if you’re not a glutton.  If you are a gluttonous person, then those few items won’t bother you.  Feel free to add in a few street tacos and some chile relleno.  But don’t complain to me about the 10 extra pounds on your scale a week later.

 

 

Captain Obvious

Mindful conversation in public places is usually a good idea.  You never know who is lurking.

Yesterday, I stated an opinion and expressed concern about a serious situation.  Of course I got attacked and reported for sharing the original source of the evidence.  I’m surprised I wasn’t threatened with a slander suit.  Big deal.  It takes all kinds to make the world wide web go ’round.  It is what it is.  I simply blocked the person who attacked me.  Why?  Because I have no time for people who have nothing better to do than attack everyone for their opinions and concerns.

It does not surprise me anymore how less and less intelligent people are.

When I’m out and about, minding my own business, and a couple not even 12 feet from me attempts to start something, I have to wonder how many people searched my online existence, and sought out my profile picture.  What did it accomplish?  NADA – except for being ignored.  I have every right to express concern.  Especially when thousands of others have expressed the same concern for many years.

I stand my ground, and have contacted the proper people to investigate something which I’m almost 100% certain is factual, considering the evidence I was given.  And the fact that I have seen with my own eyeballs on numerous occasions.

End of discussion.