I Should Be Writing Scripts

It figures I start having whacked dreams around the holidays.  Why now, of all times?  I’m stressed and depressed enough, for God sake.  Why can’t I have nice dreams, about extravagant vacations, or … well, I can’t write that here.  I came pretty close to that just a couple of weeks ago.  Too bad I woke up right when … oops.  I can’t write that here either.

Anyway, I hate when an entire night is spent waking up, trying to shake off images of dreams so horrific, you wonder what the hell triggered them.  Especially since my nights consist of turning off the television, and listening to white noise to calm down.  Okay, not white noise.  More like ASMR.

People think I’m weird for listening to it, but it truly relaxes me.

Abandoned buildings where mutilated bodies and parts are everywhere shouldn’t be allowed to exist.  Not even in nightmares.  Like what the actual f*ck was in my drink last night?  To make matters worse, the killer was lurking somewhere close by, whilst me and my friend Jane were frantically searching for an escape route.

And why do killers always have dinosaur-like hearing.  I mean, I was afraid to even breathe in my dream.  And then when we got out, I briefly woke, recited about 20 Our Fathers and 50 Hail Marys before my heart rate returned to almost acceptable.  By then, I was so aggravated and exhausted, I punched my pillow, envisioned catching Mewtwo on Pokemon GO, and fell back asleep…

…only to rebound into another, less horrific dream.  It was still terrible though.  Now, I was in my old bedroom at my parents’ house – again with Jane – frantically creating a hiding place in the attic, before the killer showed up for us.  How long do killers hang around and wait for their prey?  I was scrounging up food, blankets, water, flashlights, and all sorts of survival crap.  I was planning for a long bloody wait, apparently.

I don’t think I want to know what those dreams were all about in my subconscious.

What I do know is that I might start a dream journal – starting January 1st.  God help me if anyone finds it.  They might have me committed.

Saying Goodbye

… to negativity …

… to unfounded accusations …

… to greed …

… to demands …

… to lies …

… to selfishness …

… to ultimatums …

… to manipulation …

And finally, to inborn diabolical proclivity.  After years of trying and trying, it’s time to start anew – 21 months ago.

As much as the above things profoundly affect family life, it can’t be helped that an empty space inside still remains.  It needs to close – soon – before insanity takes over.  Or maybe missing one’s parent figure is insane … ???

Perhaps one day it will be possible to move forward.  Until that happens, it’s time to concentrate on things like self-improvement, the children, and finding silver linings in the clouds above.

Maybe the first silver lining is a much happier better half.  That in itself is huge.

Happy Holidays, everyone.  May the new year bring only good, non-material things to you and yours.


Throw Away The Key

If I get old and lose my mind – or simply if I lose my mind – just lock me up and throw away the key.  Don’t let me keep dead pets in the freezer.  It’s unsanitary.  And no, I won’t think you’re being insensitive if you think it’s bizarre that I even want to keep dead animals in the freezer.

WAIT.  I know someone who might do that.  And she’s sane!  Jenny!  Where are you?  Do you have a dead bird in the freezer by some chance?

Seriously though.  This is no laughing matter.  Well, it was at first when I heard about it.  I mean, who does that kind of shit, and posts publicly about it for the world to see?  Apparently people with dementia and other mental disorders might.  They do all sorts of shocking things that people might not realize.

It’s quite sad when you think about it.  For about a year, before my father passed away, we kind of knew his mind was going a little bit.  He’d say some some really inappropriate and strange things.  But we just laughed it off.  He was 80 years old, for fuck sake!  He earned the right to do and say weird shit.

But considering the nature of the internet, and the variety of personalities posting and sharing, it’s difficult to tell what is real, fake, serious, a joke, or outright whacked.  There are some seriously fucked up people out there.  And then there are those who like to post shit just to get a reaction out of others – to see how far a post will go in the comments section.

…like one ‘father’ who posted that he walked in on his 10 year old “beating his meat like it owed him money”… THAT post escalated so quickly that the admin removed it within 10 minutes.

What would you think if you saw a vague post about someone putting dead animals in the freezer, without any other solid information?  You’d think it was a shit post, right?

This was my personal favorite

…but then the butt hurt people came out of the woodwork…

Oh well.  Damn me to hell.

I’m Going Back To Garcia

Why is it that only doctors get my last name correct?  When I was young, kids in school used to pronounce my first name incorrectly.  I either got Cara (pronounced like Car a), or bloody Carla.  If people can’t get it right, I prefer the former.  Do I really look like a Carla?  Don’t answer that.

Skip to 11:58


Not bad for a first attempt at my last name, Dan.  But that’s OK.  Luckily I didn’t yell about my first name.  You’re the only one allowed to say it that way – for now.  Now please, take off that cheese! It’s bad enough watching Overcooked.

I’m starving!

Seriously though.  Gamingmas is one of the best things in a long time.  It gives me something to look forward to each day until Christmas Day.

Now excuse me while I got cry into my coffee over my butchered name.  😛


…I need the bathroom.  NOW! …

Day 7 of my current journey, and I think I’m adjusting fairly well – intermittent crying and irritability aside.

I’ve decided not to gorge on any of the foods now listed as free in the current Weight Watchers Freestyle plan. It not only defeats the purpose of learning portion control (a major factor in maintaining a healthy weight), but it will also wreak havoc on my sensitive stomach.

By no means is eating healthy easy for someone with Crohn’s disease and IBS. It sucks gigantic elephant trunk as far as I’m concerned. But, I’ll adjust, and survive. I did the last time I went on this journey.

In case you’re asking how I fell off this wagon, all I have to say is this: because I went into self destruct mode after my father passed away three years ago. I not only starting eating badly, I also sat on my ass, and hopped a long ride on a different, evil wagon, whose name I won’t mention. Luckily, I’m able to jump off that wagon, and stay off for the most part. I’ll take a quick joy ride now and then. But only as a reward when I meet certain goals.

That said, in light of everyone complaining about the new system and their reduced daily points allowance, give it a chance. If you’re going to complain, complain about something worth complaining about. Like the following side effects I experienced today.

•1 slice low calorie whole wheat bread (1 smart point)
•2 tbsp. plain avocado (1 smart point & an itchy throat)
•1 microwaved egg (FREE, plus a side of radiation)
•1/3 c. nonfat Greek yogurt (FREE, plus a healthy dose of gas)
•12 gigantic seedless green grapes (FREE, + an instant canker sore)
•large black coffee (FREE, plus a side of the shakes)
•1 tsp. Coffee Mate flavored creamer (1 smart point, plus a case of the craps)

TOTAL: 3 smart points, plus 1 pound instantly lost, due to the adverse side effects of this bloody way of life that’s supposed to be healthy.

I can’t wait until lunch!