This Would’ve Been Mortifying!

Thank goodness I caught my mistake before I clicked TWEET!  Things would’ve gotten extremely awkward and I possibly would’ve been blocked, and put in Twitter jail.  And because so much is happening lately, cautious internetting is a must.

Can you imagine my favorite ASMRtist seeing THIS?



When I noticed the mistake, I laughed.  But then I thought maybe it wouldn’t be so funny to the recipient.  You just never know.  And before you say a thing, no, my mind was NOT there.  I’m just tired, and I need food, and a nap, and fresh air…


My Brain Fell Out

Let me start by saying this post has been in and out of the trash bin at least four times.  There is no easy or dignified way to whine about how I’m having issues understanding the entire website launching thing.  Between technical terminology and deciding on a host, I’m about to lose what little hair I have left.

I’m so relieved I didn’t need to resize that one.  But a bigger one would’ve been nice.

Why can’t there be a reasonably priced universal plan with all the perks of a really good host?  And why are people trying to scare me away from certain companies?  I mean, I just a noob, looking for a place to start.  Why does everything need to be complicated?  And why can’t I find a tutorial I can understand without all the web terminology?

When people talk about things like a control panel, they might as well be speaking in tongues. I have no clue what a control panel is, other than the control panel in Windows.  Apparently, launching a website isn’t as easy as 1-2-3.

And because I suspect I have ADD, the transition is definitely not going to be simple.

Oh well.  I need to face it sooner or later.



Trying Too Hard

It has been a lifelong struggle to not do this.

Another life ago, I told many tall tales to friends and teachers.  My mom always used to say I should write down all of my little made up stories, and write a book some day.  I never took it to heart, until recently, when I discovered how much I actually love writing.

In college, the thing which got me a passing grade in quite a few of my courses were A+ papers and essays.  Even for some tests, where essays were required, I was able to pull off what must’ve impressed my professors enough to grant me passing grades in the classes I was surely doomed to fail.


For example:  In a Creative Writing & Literature class, we were required to compose a thought provoking essay, based on something controversial in a short story we were assigned.  What I presented to my male professor was a bit of a shocker, and it got me an A+.

Imagine writing about rape fantasy, and trying to convince any reader whether or not the words rape fantasy are contradictory.  And imagine trying to explain it to your extremely strict Catholic mother when she looks over your shoulder as you’re writing it.

End of trigger warning.  I apologize to all victims of sexual crimes.  It was never my intent to cause distress.  It was merely an example of how my brain works, and just how creative I can be.

On that note, it has come to my attention just how many WordPress blogs there are, and it’s slightly discouraging.  But discouraging is something I’m used to.  Being the cynical pessimist that I am, finding out there are 76.5 MILLION really didn’t surprise me that much.  What upset me is how many Mamacita and Just Me And My Music blogs there are.

After thinking of a dozen or so different names, I’ve come to realize I might just need to go with my own name, since it is the only thing which is truly unique – unless there is another blogger with my name out there!  There will be issues if there is.

Then I’ll just resign myself to the fact that blogging will remain just a hobby.  But that’s okay, because then I can fall back on old reliable.  But I cannot share that publicly, for obvious reasons.

At any rate, I’ll be sitting down with a pen and notebook fairly soon.  Hopefully I can come up with at least a few hundred possibilities.  Until then, I think I might attempt sleep.  Tomorrow is a new day, with new promise.



Send Eye Bleach … ASAP

Better yet, just give me a mini scoop.  You know, the kind that makes mini melon balls.

All I wanted was something like this!

But NOOOOOOOOO!  Giphy had to go and do THIS to me.

I guess that’s what happens when I try to blog late in the day.  The weird side of the internet decides to attack unsuspecting innocents.

Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

Is it too late for a beverage?  I’m slightly afraid to sleep tonight.


Dream Journal #3

I’m beginning to feel like a freak. Well, my husband says I’m not normal. I know I’m not normal in many ways, but to tell me it’s not normal to recall dreams is making my anxiety a lot worse than in already is.

Anyone who personally knows me, knows I sleep like crap. I’m up and down constantly, shifting frequently to relieve my achy back, shoulders, and hips – in between sitting up to check if hubby is still breathing. Let’s not forget the once a night bathroom trip if I don’t go right before I hit the pillow.

When I talk about dream recall, I can tell you very vivid dreams from 10+ years ago. Even some dreams I used to have as a child. I always thought this is common. Apparently not.

So …. I have a new appointment for a neurology sleep consult. My cardiologist ordered it because I was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea, and he thinks my machine isn’t the correct one, which is screwing with my sleep. I can’t stress enough how important it is to have the correct machine. I cannot exhale with it on. And now, I have issues with breathing through my nose due to year round allergies from hell. So, I need a full face mask, and a machine that has auto titration.

But that’s not why I’m being referred to a neurologist. I guess there are several specialists who treat spleep apnea.  I used to see a pulmonary specialist.  But now, it’s time to see a neurologist.  The cardiologist didn’t like my description of my nightly dreams.  UGH!  Just leave me alone.  I’m sick of all the ‘ologists’.  My regular doctor and cardiologist are quite enough, thank you very much.

AND, I’M BROKE – IN THE RED.  …no thanks to Obama care and the insane shit it allows the medical industry to get away with.  But I’m not here to get political.

On with last night’s dreams.  Which is what I set out to do in the first place, until my husband started his routine I have a medical anomaly for a wife spiel.  …. I wonder why I’m depressed…

Last night’s dream recall is pretty borken (damn you, Bloggess! I actually typed that by accident).

The first part I remember is wandering some random streets in downtown Niagara Falls, New York.  I was on Pine Ave., but it didn’t look like Pine Ave.  HOWEVER, Pine Ave. always looks the same in my dreams – filled with cool shops for the tourists.  I passed a nice book store (there’s an adult bookstore on 19th street, just off Pine Ave FOR REAL).  Then there was a women’s clothing store.  They didn’t have anything nice that fit me, so I left.

Next was a pizzeria.  It was closed.  Of course!  Because I was hungry, dammit!  So, I headed to the tattoo place.  And of course I didn’t have enough money for the tattoo I want, so I tried bargaining with a female artist, and she threw me out.  Crap.

Then I was suddenly back in college, getting yelled at for skipping classes – something I did a lot of in my last semester, because hell, I was graduating with a 3.4 average anyways, so I could get away with it!  I think I have that dream frequently because it’s my guilty conscience working on me.

I swear some of the things I dream are my sins coming back to haunt me.

The next dreams I had happened when I went back to sleep after my son got on the bus. I TOLD you I do that! It’s cold AF outside. Do you honestly think I’m going to just bounce around my house at 7 o’clock in the morning, doing housework?

Anyways, I think I’m suffering from screen overload. Or maybe over-stimulation, period.

I was at some variety show that was being televised. There were a bunch of YouTubers there, including some of my favorites. And of course, I got challenged to a 7 second sake challenge. I’m thinking this dream happened because I had sake the other day, and I managed to hold on for about 4 seconds. Our chef took delight in watching the rest dribble into my cleavage. Bastard…

In the end, I won the damn challenge in my dream, and I got to sit with these two squishy dorks for the rest of the show.

…only to be recorded by them for their next video… YES, I was doing stupid things for the rest of my dream – all for that damn 7 second challenge.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need some nutrition, caffeine, and a lobotomy.